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Am a contradiction of sorts. i love going out and having a good time with friends, and i can also stay home chill out over a book or a movie.. Am very passionate about writing, so give me a topic and watch me float away into wonderland... I Am crazy about music,books,friends and my doggie... :)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Let me free...

I had earlier written this post for the   Indusladies International Women's Day Blog Contest


Now am submitting it for the Violence Against Women blog.... 




Let me free...
This is about my dear friend, P and what went through and how she
thought it was the castle she built in air coming alive...


Innocent, starry eyed, having just celebrated her 21st bday, P, like every other girl had big dreams, and all she wanted to do upon graduating from B.Com was to get married. Not just that, she dreamt that she will find a guy who is romantic, sweet, caring and take care of her like her family did.

About 2 months after our graduation, her father's business took a toll and he lost a lot of money. They were literally living hand to mouth, which is when P decided to work [she was smart and good in Finance & Accounts]. She landed a good job with a leading Bank and took over the role of bread earner at home.

A bit of background on P - she was the only girl at home, sandwiched between 2 loving brothers[younger brother had a bit of brain development issues and was a slow learner]. Her father was into jewellery business[which her older brother joined] and mom took care of the house. A simple family, they protected and pampered her. No wonder then she was fairly naive and clueless about the real world.

This was when SR, a dear friend of ours got engaged, and we were all involved in her wedding perparations[dates were May 5th and 6th], performing at the Engagement ceremony et al. P was there religiously everyday, until suddenly she started missing practice and wouldnt answer our calls. One day, me and R went over to her house, and confronted her. She then spilt the beans about having found the man of her dreams and was going to tie the knot soon...

Thus began our mission - "get information from P on this mystery man and make sure he was legit".. She gushed over how good looking he was, and that they had found him on a matrimonial site. Her parents had spoken to his parents, and the guy, S, and all they wanted was P to come as she was, no dowry, no nothing. The wedding date was fixed for June 5th [ less than a month away]. All she knew about the guy was he lived and worked in Canada, and they chatted for hours every day which is how she had fallen for him flat... We couldnt knock any sense into her, and on June 3rd , she and her family flew to Bombay, met S, and on 5th they got married.

Time flew, and a year passed therein..One wednesday evening[still remember the day, i had just returned home from work], i received a call from an unknown number, it wasP,and she was crying, between sobs requested i come over to her house.  

"When did you get to Chennai?" i exclaimed.. 

"Dont ask me anything aaroo, just come over na", she replied..

It was then that i came to know of the longest year in her life.I knew she had spent 2-3 mths with her inlaws while her visa was being processed and how they had  changed from sweet caring souls  to harrasing her for money.. She in turn pushed her father, who had to pledge some jewellery and material to cough up whatever he could. 
What we dint know was - when she landed in Canada, a rude shock awaited her. S dint have the job, nor a home as he had mentioned earlier. He was working in a small firm making a few hundred dollars a month. Life became tough till a friend of his helped P land a job with an Insurance company. 

What must have been a blessing became a curse, as S couldnt deal with P earning more than him..

There started the physical sexual abuse, to a point where P had run away from home, taken the help of a friend  she had made and flew to India with just her passport. Unfortunately, her parents here convinced her to go back to her husband and work things out. They believed a girls place is with her husband,no matter what he did/said.  They spoke to S, apologizing for their daughter's behaviour. 

S sweetly promised to take her back, provided P stops talking to her parents. The stupid girl went ahead and returned, only to face the same music all over again, until she got pregnant during one of his sexual bursts. Inetween all this, her health took a beating, and she had to undergo several surgeries.

It was only then that hard reality hit her and she made up her mind . Using the pregnancy as an excuse, P convinced S to fly her mom over to help during pregnancy and delivery. She kept us posted that she intended to return with her mom and baby and never go back.

Her son was born in Jan 04, she along with her mom and son flew to India under the pretext of rest;with our support and a lawyer friend she sent him Divorce notice under physical abuse and harassment clause. However, she did have to return to Canada for another year to work, earn a bit so she could fend for her son, while her parents took care of him. S did try contacting P, reconciling, but she was not going to go back to that life again. 
We were sad that she went through this, but glad that atleast she came to her senses. She is now back in India, remarried a wonderful man who loves her and her son as if his own. 
Just wish, she had been smarter back then and saved herself all this heartache.. 

She says "I have so many bruises, but the one that hurts the most is what S did, just because we were financially low and i was naive and blind to his follies.. but aaroo, am happy now, touch wood... 
I wish and pray that no one else is so lost that they fall blindly for a guy who makes so many fake promises and is cautious with their life.... and listens to their friends :-) "

Stand up for yourself... Do what you think is right for YOU and i pray all you women [wives, daughters, mothers, mothers-inlaw and every other woman out there] understands the TRUE VALUE of your life and DOES not bend over just cos of some silly SOCIETY or so called "family reputation"... YOU matter more than anything else!!  

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Time stands still

on Dec 31st '09.. It was doomsday at home...  I woke up at 6.30 and as i sleepily got out of my room, an eerie silence greeted me.. Took me a few minutes to adjust to the silence, and realise it was that day... Gosh, time had flown by so fast... 1st thought was- where is granpa?? found him in the dining room, sipping his tea, in silence... 

[rewind a bit so you understand the emphasis on silence]

In our home, the TV is on around 4am.. granparents are up and watching one or the other tamil/religious channels on some talk/discourse/shloka/etc... and parallely, the Worldspace in their bedroom hums to life, with Shruti on full swing- a carnatic piece floating in the air... This is the routine for as long as i can remember!! 

[fastfwd to 31-12-09] 

Why the silence? Cos Worldspace had stopped their service in India... Had received a mail from them saying the same couple of weeks ahead of the date.. we had been hearing of their bankruptcy situation on TV, but dint know what was going to happen... Infact, last year , we paid Subscription for not one year, but two thinking what the heck, why not!! :D 



Granpa was morose and in a fowl mood for a couple of days..kept switching on the worldspace unit to see "maybe, just maybe miraculously it would sing as always"... and then walk away sad.... Today, the unit sits in its cupboard [ yes, uncle bought a cupboard so it can be stored neatly] and used as a stand for books and sundry....!!

Is there a point to sending Worldspace the details they had mentioned on email [also found here on their site]... will they resume service ever?? why is it that only Indians are subject to this??? unfair i say!

Have you had any such experience??do share.. [psst, this post was sittin in draft forever now.. and finally decided to up n publish it]
 

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Love

is in the air... Really?? well, dint see any love birds around..the only kind i saw were on the Small screen ... so many movies....



Anyways... thought since it was valentines day,i should write something on love... so,here is the 55er i churned out...

Hope y'all had a lovely sunday!!!

He said, I said...

The pain started about 3weeks ago, initially,i shrugged it off assuming it was a sprain, but even after applying Iodex, Absorbine and what not, no respite... Went to the doc, who again said its just a sprain, and prescribed pills and a different oinment... 

Another fortnight passed, i was in Blore and could feel the pain continue to linger... esp at night and morning, it was a killer... I would be unable to move my wrist or rotate it , invariably wake up nearly in tears.... Came back to Chennai, went to Doc, took an xray[bah, of no use it was, came out saying NORMAL]... and then decided to go to another doc... Alas..he gave me an answer- TENDONITIS...[Inflammation of the tendon in my right wrist] .. Gonna be another 2-3weeks before it goes away...  

Why it happened ? - Doc has no idea, said it is cos of an injury i must have had recently... [cant remember anything :( ]

Such a bummer- unable to type an sms... cant type more than a few words on comp..everything done with left hand.. ok, anyways.. what happned was, a blog friend of mine Cm -Chap came online 2days back and this was kinda what happened... 



He: you too? 
me: what? err, what you talking about da?

He: just saw your status - gtalk- "Tendonitis, the word of the month!".. i was gonna put up the exact same thing :)

Me: really?wow... ya, i've been suffering for abt few weeks now.. right wrist... pain seems to be moving ahead to the arm
He: yep, for me it was reverse.. started in shoulder...then elbow and now wrist... 
Applying Bengay and  not using it much

Me: ah, okay...
wearing wrist strap?
Whats Bengay? i have only heard of absorbine

He: nope... i am trying not to show it off too much, but pain takes over at times
Initially, ignored it, but pain broke me...
Bengay is an oinment, like iodex, very effective..

Me: Ditto, same here... 
Ah, okay... ya, now i remember, my uncle in USA has sent Bengay for gramma..
Ironic.. of all the things, we are talking abt health!! As long as it gets alright,am happy..this is painful and annoying.. kinda feel handicapped

He: :) right... i know!!! 

and there went on our conversation... !! :)

Friday, February 12, 2010

Do you mind?

Couple of days back, had gone to an uncle's house.. I wanted to go say hi to another uncle, who was in his room, on the 1st floor.. had to go through their living area- which had the Tv and Computer.. As i took a step into the room, i heard " Dont come, am checking mails, its personal". Stopped right there in my tracks and looked to where the voice came from.. It was my cousin's cousin[ all of 8yrs old] siting on the comp, typing away in fury!! 

What the heck, just a kid, and i walked on only to be stopped again by him... Was stumped, retraced and commented about this to my uncle... Uncle chuckled and said "he is like that, leave him be or else will bring the roof down"... 

# Now, i dint know if he was guarding his privacy or seen someone else behave this way or was told to stay away when someone else was using the computer..! but i found it strange!! 

Another thing that came to my mind was my sister[she turns 20 this yr] and her phone!! She has a keypad lock, and no one can use her phone when she is not around... This has always been the case... top it off, she doesnt leave it lying around either!! But she will use stuff from my cupboard, shelves, and leave them open, which i dont like...  and when i tell her to shut them, i get a earful....

#- Is she again just guarding her privacy or hiding something??? Does she think we'll snoop around if we were able to use her phone??? My other cousin n some of her close friends know the code to unlock and they happily fidgit..... 

[ Pic : myimportstore.com]

One other thing that hit me was i keep things locked up... But not with the key hidden, but hanging in the lock... I am someone who is extremely organised, for whom things need to be in their place... I come home after a meeting/wedding/movie/etc etc, remove and put my watch in my draw, leave handbag at its set place, and like it that way... Similarly, my cupboard and other places are also pretty organised... and i will know if someone has touched/meddled/ moved something around... Yes, there is one cupboard that has all my stationery, perfumes, cosmetics, etc etc that is locked and i have the key- again i dont carry it around, along with my house key, the bunch stays in my bag.... dont leave that key hanging....

My phone does not have a lock.. Yes, there was a time few years ago when i used to carry it around all the time, but then i've stopped doing that for abt 2-4yrs now.... Nothing to hide, dont delete msgs or pics before leaving it lying around.... 

# Am i being on guard? am i also guarding my privacy by keeping things locked up?

Any of this makes sense or am i rambling too much??? ok.. hand hurts.. time to go rest it...!Gnite :)

Sunday, February 7, 2010

So long..

S.RAMACHANDRAN, S/o G.S. Sreenivasa Iyer passed away on 7 Feb 2010. Mourned by Wife Gowri and Sons Rajesh and Shankar and Daughters-in-Law. Ph: 28342206, Cell: 9841029206. 

is all that remains.... a tiny obituary in today's papers.... Gone!! just like that.... Granpa's last bro, a few years older than my mom and few others.... sigh... !! A relief that he was done suffering [ had been through way too much, the past 6yrs, but Granpa couldnt stop crying saying " i brought him up, he is a kid.. how can he go away like this?]

And last evening was the 1st time i broke the news of a death to someone.... Had to call  my uncle in the USA n tell him .... we spoke a few mins about their growing up yrs, how close this uncle[who passed away] was with my granparents[they were like his parents] and all the fond memories... and then there was a bit of awkward silence n i said Bye.... !! Sigh.... :-(

ooh aah ouch!!

Looks like its a day of mishaps...something that hasnt happened to me in ...ummm errrr long long time... and i just know it, can feel it... all the peepals who cant cook or cant taste my yummy cooking putting the jinxy on me!!!hmfph... :D

Incident Numero Uno...

Post lunch, was half way through cleaning up the leftover n all that, when i decided to make lunch for my shweetheart Floppy [ dont you dare ask me who that is... read my profile if that question slipped outta ur mouth already!!].. Senor eats a bowl of boiled macaroni for lunch - yes, you read it right... he isnt particular about the brand[ phew, imagine if he insisted on Bertolli or one of those fancy schpancy brands... i would be running negative bank balance today].. anyways.. so me or my uncle boil a bowl in the microwave[ there is an excl grey bowl that is used-it is called the "Royal highness lunch cooking bowl" and none dare touch it, plus it is microwave prooof]... 


Here's how it is don[ pay attn while reading,will be quizzed later... ]

Step 1.Put in half packet of macaroni, 
Step 2: Add enough water, 
Step 3: Place inside microwave and 
Step 5: leave it to cook , takes about 4mins..  

Today, yours truly started this while in the process of cleaning up and with full josh,  got about prepping His lunch... 
Step 1: Poured out macaroni into the grey bowl and 
then .... and then.... 
Step 2: opened microwave, placed it inside, 
Step 3: keyedin 4mins and walked off to her room...  

Got it???? see what i did????  Few mins later, gramma squealed from the kitchen saying "Something is smoking"...

I ran...  helter skelter through the house to the other end where the kitchen is... as my brain kicked into action, making me realise what i HADNT done!! [ if you havent guessed till now, i forgot water ]

All emotions i went thru..... [pic- media.picfor.me]

Picked out oven gloves, opened microwave door cautiously [like as if something was come jumping out screaming at me] and then saw more smoke... a grey bowl that looked like it was done for..and macaroni cooked alright.. sizzling, black and charred beyond recognition..[ it was probably having an identity crisis there] ... Jeez.... do i cry or laugh??? Was praying the microwave worked, and hadnt done irreparable damage to it.... Slowly,pulledout the 'Sniff, sniff, sob sob" mutilated bowl, ran to the backyard, chucked it in the bin... and got about cleaning the microwave n making fresh batch of lunch on the stove.... Phew, such a relief when i saw Floppy lap it up inspite of it being served not from his Grey bowl...!!

Incident Numero Dos

Fast fwd to 7.30pm, time to make dinner...  Decided to make a kinda veg pulao, as it was easy, filling and would be a one meal dish.... 

Gramma got about washing the rice, putting the Rice cooker on, etc etc.... 

And i pulled out veggies- carrots, cauliflower, tomatoes...the chopping board and knife... Few mins later, i was running my thumb under the running water... hahaha.... Sliced a wee bit of my thumb thinking it was part of the ripe tomato... few mins under water, and then a dab of sugar, bleeding all over a kitchen tissue and i was done.... enough blood donated my body decided... 

but you must appreciate my perseverance... I chopped the veggies single handedly.. how about that!! ;) 

[Pic-cartoonstock.com]
As they say... i put my sweat and blood into the dish... [pun unintended] ;)

Hope there are no more incidents for the day.... few hours to go....  btw, How was your sunday???? Mine was totally quiet.. home bound... Watched Kurbaan [review coming in a while], went for a nice walk, played with Floppy, and now writing this post[ while 2 others sit in draft, am sure they are hopping mad for being ignored...time to cajole em ;)]