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Am a contradiction of sorts. i love going out and having a good time with friends, and i can also stay home chill out over a book or a movie.. Am very passionate about writing, so give me a topic and watch me float away into wonderland... I Am crazy about music,books,friends and my doggie... :)

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

No Can Do

Am sitting here wondering how to say NO to people who keep asking me for favors ,while i find the men around me slapping a NO left right and center!! 

How is it that Men find it easy to say NO? Are they genetically programmed to simply shut their brain, ears and heart to simply blurt out the small 2 letter word that has me choking many a times? and if i do say NO, i will be pondering over it for a long time, doing a post mortem and wondering if i did the right thing or not!! 

Me: Can i ...
Guy[Could be anyone from dad, granpa, uncle to a friend]: NO
Me; but i havent even finished the statement yet
Guy: NO, whatever it is , I know its either impossible or just NOT done or NOT gonna happen or NO way, i wont do it!
Me: hmpfh...

All i probably wanted was to go buy a new table for the computer [ the one at home is probably falling apart of am already left holding the computer in my hands] or the might have suggested a course to study or to switch TV channel to some show i want to watch!

Its not just this, but there are instances when one wants to purchase a new furniture for the house, or a gift for a friend, or the wedding one has been invited to and the MAN instantly outs his foot down and says NO and taht is the end of discussion!! And if there was a word uttered beyond that , they lose it!Why? I demand to know WHY?
  • Do they go on an  EGO trip?
  • Do they get some cheap kick outta saying NO?
  • Is it a game of Control?
  • Do they not CARE about others?
  • Do they need to be the DECIDING factor- always?
In couples, especially, i see the guy holding fort, snubbing the wife down at every given chance, trying to almost prove that she is DUMB!! this irks me, and i with my big mouth blurt something to the effect of how the woman has a mind of her own, and then voila, the discussion ends, i earn a bad name and the woman is still left fuming [her idea, suggestion was shut away without a 2nd thought]!!

It leaves me upset and seething when i watch the women[mom, gramma, aunts, cousins, friends] around me get shoved to a corner by the men in their lives. At home, at Stores, at restaurants, while planning holidays, a family outing, a movie- anything that is said to the GUY is first shot down and then  some do think over it and reconsider, but at the end make it look like it was THEIR idea all along!! Bah!!

Lady: I like this Dressing table
Guy: No, that is not nice.. look at this, its better
Lady: But but.... 
Guy: No, just come and see this.. we shall take this... what do you say? 
[like she really has a choice after that last statement]
Lady: hmm.. ok.. if you like it!! 
I wanna know, who DIED and made the MAN the King of the world?

Who taught the MEN to say NO and forgot to share that lesson with us?? Imagine what would happen if the "YES MAN" movie was for Real and all MEN went through that change!! 


Lakshmi said...

Ive seen such men but then Ive also seen men who are rational . Unfortunately you seem to be caught in such a world - think the best way out of this is to do your own thing someone at home said today.."you shd never ask "

Avni Iyer said...

Well i to have come across a few men like these...but i guess less in number..Things are changing now i guess..woman don't like being snubbed anymore.. at least me and i know for sure u too :)

UmaS said...

While there are a few rational ones, who listen to the women atleast, majority of the men like to decide and have the last word.

I just loved this post - so many thots of mine were seen here, written by you.

And if they allow the women to decide for some mundane matter, the men make sure that the life is miserable afterwards - always pointing out what a bad decision the women made.

Gargling Garbage said...

I think some of us, women, are so over-pleasing. We play this victim-rescuer-persecutor roles. We allow ourselves to be overriden. This whole "oppression" can stop only when we willingly let go of our (over)eagerness to impress/please and truly strike a balance somewhere with assertion.

Of course, now that is easier said than done! *Chuckles*

Swaram said...

Thankfully, I dont hv many such men arnd! Atleast those who matter in my daily life :) Wonder hw women put up with not having any choices?

Anu said...

nice one, Aarti..... i too have met many such, and have wondered why i can never say 'no'.... but thankfully not everyone around is the same, otherwise,i would go mad!

prasadk said...

Not many of us are of this kind.

What I feel is , girls should choose their life partners with wide eyes open.. so they don't have to repent marrying with this NO NO or NA NA kind of man :))

Prats said...

ROFL!!! Seriously you coming across people like these???

Anonymous said...

I've seen this happen in many many couples too. And I think its very rare to find a couple where both partners have an equal say. Either the man or the woman dominate and either way it isn't healthy. But you never know, Aaroo, each family has its own equation.

khairy said...

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