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Am a contradiction of sorts. i love going out and having a good time with friends, and i can also stay home chill out over a book or a movie.. Am very passionate about writing, so give me a topic and watch me float away into wonderland... I Am crazy about music,books,friends and my doggie... :)

Sunday, June 26, 2011

What is

What is wrong if i speak my mind
What is wrong if i share my thoughts
What is wrong if i leave a room when there are guests and awkward silences?
What is wrong if i disagree to something granpa said, or an uncle said...
What is wrong if i go meet friends  
What is wrong if i decide to go for a movie during a weekday?

These are just some of the questions floating in my head... And i've realised people around me are so conditioned by the people around them, they dont think outside the box or even if they do, they are afraid to break away and do their own thing... 

It is such a strange world we live in, where we have created the so called "society", and we are afraid of the same. We created something that has now come back to bite us in the ass... Yes, admit it! You agree with this! 

I've been going crazy trying to make my family [immediate] understand that it is is ok to do what you feel like, go where you desire, talk/eat/dress according to your wishes.. Though they nod for the moment, the moment is lost too soon! Why? 

What is wrong in living life the way you want? 
What is the control you seek to hold on to?

This is not something i've seen only in my home, i see it all around me
Everyday , every minute there is someone who is speaking in hush tones 'cos they dont want someone else who they know to hear them... wth! 

I find it suffocating and i keep wanting to break away from it, but then keep getting chained back in.. Not on my own free will, but no thanks to those around... 

"Their mind's are conditioned"
"They are set in their ways"
"They have lived their life"
"Look at how good their lives have been"
Are some statements i have heard everytime i speak about change! 

Makes me wonder-
Do we need these boundaries to keep us in check?
Arent we the ones who created these walls in the 1st place? and so, we should have the liberty to break em down right?
Why are people so afraid?
Why are they so hesitant to do something that according to them is not "NORMAL"
What will happen if they do decide to let go?

I am so not cut out from the same mould as some of my family is... And that irks them! I dont know if they secretly feel proud or cringe everytime i do something that my heart desires... 

I would like to think they are happy for me
Albeit truth is far from that....
"Dont go there, someone might see you"
"Dont do this... or that... cos someone might see you, or "we" dont do such things" 
"Why are you like this? why cant you be more like xyz?"

Is there a Rule book somewhere? I would like to see it! Rather, i demand to see it... the damn thing has everyone brainwashed and acting like muppets...

And if i hear once more "They are saying that because they care about you", i will kill someone!!!  That person who supposedly cares is more bothered about gossip or being the 1st squealer, nothing more!!

Is it worth living like that?
When i see all these people around me control themselves, stop themselves from doing things they know they will love it makes me mad! But,am just a tiny droplet in a majestic ocean... And there are some who are the tsunamis in it... Wrecking havoc!!


Think... Next time you stop yourself or someone you care about from doing/saying/going/eating/drinking something... THINK!!

2 comments:

Anu said...

very timely post, Aarti... I have been thinking on almost similar lines recently....

Aarti said...

Anu- am so bugged with these mentalities... sometimes feel like screaming, other times like running away....