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Am a contradiction of sorts. i love going out and having a good time with friends, and i can also stay home chill out over a book or a movie.. Am very passionate about writing, so give me a topic and watch me float away into wonderland... I Am crazy about music,books,friends and my doggie... :)

Saturday, April 30, 2016

The Spaniard, the promise of love and the scam..

So, there I was staring at the empty space on Tinder waiting for some profiles to drop by from the heavens above. Lo behold, a few happened, I looked, read through and swiped left and then came this guy- it was the face of a foreigner, the first one I had come across, name sounded Spanish Carlos, 44yrs of age and there were three photographs of himself in a suit, beach shorts and in a formal setting. The bio sounded interesting and I swiped right. The next minute I was told it was a match [when the guy and girl like each other, it is a match and that is when you get to chat and take it forward or unmatch]

I shut the app and moved on, only to hear a ting within few minutes. I opened Tinder to see a message from the Spaniard. He introduced himself, said he was 44, widower with a teenage daughter and worked in the oil rigs while his girl was back home offshore. We chatted, got to know each other. The only hiccup was my 11pm was his 9am and vice versa. But then, we made the most of the time and he was the utterly butterly are you for real kind of gentleman. He asked about my work, explained what he did and how he dint really do much outside of work. Within a day or so he shared a picture with his daughter, she was pretty and he looked good in a suit next to her. Spoke about how he and his late wife had made life plans but alas she fell ill and passed on. 

As the days progressed, there were butterflies flying about rapidly within me- both in anxiety and excitement. He spoke about coming down for a visit and how I could then plan a visit, travelling all over Europe and so on. It was too good to be true, but I told myself not to panic and just go with the flow… Before I knew it, he said the three golden words that any girl would swoon to hear – I love you. I held back, telling him I wasn’t in that space yet. He seemed to be hurt but said he understood. In a week’s time, he started asking me for my address, saying he wanted to send me some stuff.

I again declined the offer saying we can do all this post meeting. He kept saying physical appearances dint matter and he felt we were soul mates, meant for each other. Well, the alarm bells continued to ring in my head….  The one thing he kept telling me on and off was not to mention him or our relationship to any of my friends. He was sure they would be jealous and break us up! I did confide in two friends [like ya, am gonna keep it to myself]

It had been 3 weeks, we had moved from Tinder to whatsapp. He called me a few times, brief chats happened. Around the 4th week he was back to asking my address persisted. I gave a vague address of my area and locality. It was Thursday when he said he was gonna send me a box of stuff along with some money and documents through the embassy and said that someone from embassy will call me and give directions on how to claim it. Friday when I woke up and we were chatting I again told him to withdraw the package [wasn’t sure if he was talking for real or just fibbing], but he said it had been sent already.  When I asked him about how embassies don’t really do courier, he said theirs did and I left it [knowing this was all probably just faff]

I asked him what he had sent, for which he replied – an iPhone, iPad, a diamond ring, some documents that will help for our visa [he was talking about whisking me away back to spain], and cash [close to 20K Euros, saying he wanted me to hold on to it and he wanted to invest in real estate in Asia]… I was stumped, I was still unsure if any of this was real.

The weekend went by, and Monday morning we were chatting when he said someone will be calling me with directions. I was again adamant about not wanting any of the stuff and not claiming it. He did get upset or atleast made it sound like I had hurt him and said “its ok, leave it, its my money and stuff I bought for you only, my loss, no worries, lets talk about something else”

Promptly at about 9am I got a call, sounded like an African voice [ the deep husky kind, I know cos I have met quite a few of them]. This guy asked for my name and said there was a parcel from Carlos Mendez in Spain. He then went on to say I had to deposit 35K INR, and within 3 hrs he would fly down and deliver the package. I hung up. I then got an sms with bank account details belonging to a person [again name was suspicious]. Meanwhile on the side am chatting with him saying the guy called, asking for money, I don’t want it, etc.. He was hopping mad.. and then I asked him why cant they just deduct the 35K INR I had to pay from the money he has sent for which he blatantly refused saying that was separate this is different..

This apart, I was also chatting with friends telling em about this. They too said it was fishy, esp since nobody sends stuff through the embassy,… and customs will send a letter and that was it, they don’t follow up. I kept getting calls from different numbers asking about the money and I finally told one of them that I am not gonna pay and they can send the package back. At that the guy actually hung up, till an hour later a lady called who got the same response from me.

Meanwhile, our man is stomping mad, said ok fine, leave it, my loss and went on a trip about how I went against him and spoke to friends, they were jealous and were breaking us up, cant see me happy etc. I lost it there and told him he can think whatever he wants, but if he cant respect a girl or her wishes, too bad and blocked him on whatsapp .. That was it…

Well, shows there are all kinds of people online, looking for an easy bait…. Am sure they do get lucky, 1/10 will fall for it and they make some money out of it.  It has been a few months, and there are moments when I think about this and wonder what the hell was I thinking or not to have let this happen. Am sharing it here so others can be on guard and escape~

PS: I did spot him again on Tinder and reported the profile..

Note: be wary, be on guard.... 
If a guy is too forthcoming
If he wants to move away from the app and take it to text/whatsapp/calls
If he seems too good to be true [ i know its not fair to generalise, but be alert]
If he seems to be in a rush to take the relationship forward
If he says things like "am gonna delete my profile", "i hope you aren't seeing/talking to anyone else", "tell me you love me" .. etc...

Monday, April 25, 2016

G for gratification? -Part II

Disclaimer: Reader discretion advised...

Few months ago I had done a post on how most people who are online [be it on Social networking sites or on dating apps] were there mostly for some kind of instant /self gratification...  Incase you haven't read it, here it is.

G for gratification? -Part I 

Since that post, I have come upon quite a few interesting characters.. I take the liberty of calling them "characters" because each one is a specimen piece on its own, enough to be locked away in a box and thrown into the Atlantic ocean or maybe something in another planet even. Cos they don't have an ounce of patience and are all about instant gratification, instant this and instant that.. Almost like the instant noodles we get in a box [even that takes a few minutes to be ready to eat, add hot water, shut and wait for a few minutes, right?] 

I don't get it... As said in the earlier post, while a lot of them fall in the category of "oh my, you think am good looking, you think am hot, you think am worth chatting with", there is the entire other section who are all about,
  • I am here to make friends, but with benefits only... 
  • I am here looking for someone to complete me, but I want to have sex all the time.. 
  • I am here for someone to make me happy but then all i wanna do is talk about how big my junk is and how i have been told this and that about it, how i have slept with lebanese women, african women, british women, but not with a tamil woman yet..
  • I am separated from my wife, I love my son, I meet them both often & trying to make the marriage work but will you have sex with me anyways, no strings attached..
  • I am separated from my wife, live in a different country, sleep with anything that moves, I want to get to know you, can we go on a holiday to Goa.. 
  • I have been told am like an african and I take good 10 mins to cum... 
I am not exaggerating... I am effing serious.. Maybe I am a prude, someone who is not open to hook ups and one night flings, but men seriously think life is just about "sex".. 

Heck, one guy I was chatting with would constantly say he is turned on, wants a blow job etc etc and when I asked him if sex was the only thing on his mind, he actually replied "that is what God made us men for..enjoy us"... I told him if that was all he wanted then we shall part ways here, he then said give me a chance, get to know me blah blah and went on to talk about it on and on and on and on.. Well,I went on to blocked him... :O 

Have we become so impatient that we don't want to get to know someone before jumping in the sack? Or is it just me... Have I been living under a rock, missed the memo about the world becoming sex driven, men wanting to be told how awesome they are in bed[am sure there are enough women looking for same compliment] ?

When did life become so boring? yes, I say "boring" cos to me it is always fascinating meeting new people and I look forward to getting to know them before taking a call on anything. If I cannot hold a decent conversation, have a few laughs with someone, I definitely am not gonna consider a relationship with them. And then yes there are a few who are good for conversations and laughs but nothing more and the few who cross over and become good friends... 

I don't care what you think of me, honestly am not gonna change me for you, ever~ 
I am happy with me the way I am... and your comments and opinions while sound good/interesting are just that.. 
I am not looking for people to gush over my pictures, or send lovey dovey comments.. I have a close circle of friends who are there for me, whose opinions matter... 

So, to all those out there seeking "gratification" for all that they do, get a life and remember others are too busy with their own.. And if you do someone leaving comments that drip with honey and sugar, they might be just doing it on auto pilot... click like, leave a heart, post a mushy comment.. la la la. you get the drift right?

Google "self gratification" and click on images, it shows various ways of jerking off.. 

Dear Diary, need some ME Time

Dear Diary,

Well, if you know me by now you know what is happening in life... I am at that stage I was a few years ago, where all i need is some space and some alone time.. yes, i demand some ME time!

Here is a conversation with friends from a few years ago that fits me to the T even today....

Me: No no you guys carry on, am not coming..
Them: Why why why, come na, it will be fun. what will you do home alone? will go bored.
Me: Trust me, I will be anything but bored. I have a zillion things I can do.. Go ahead.
They: Are you serious? You wanna be home alone and not coming shopping with us.
Me: Yes, we shall hang out tomorrow, carry on .. 

Well, I have quite a few similar conversations on a daily basis with folks around me. And I find it funny when they say we get bored by being alone. I guess they go bored if alone. I, on the other hand love being alone.. What most people don't realise is that being alone is far cry away from being lonely. I am never ever lonely. 

You can put me on a planet alone and I still wouldn't feel lonely, guess that is just me! Give me a book, some music and maybe a dog or two and I can live like that forever. Oh yes, throw in few bottles of water/fruits.. 

I loathe shopping, yes there I said it. I would much rather sit at home chilling than being dragged from store to store while you try on clothes. Agree, I have tagged along with friends more than once when they went shopping, but then those are far and few between [Thank God]. The only kind of shopping I enjoy and look forward to would be "books". It does not mean I don't buy things for myself or am an online shopper, nope! I do shop. But then I go to a store having some idea of what I want, find it, try it, buy it and am done within minutes. Ofcourse it is such a miracle that not many stores sell my size clothes or have things I would buy.. booyaaah... 

There are times when I go for movies with friends and pre/post the movie we would wander about [if in a mall] and I know for a fact we will end up in a book store sooner or later, cos thats the kind of souls I hang out with :) I most likely won't buy anything, but the joy i get scanning through pages of books is something that I cannot explain in words.

Oh and I have the set of friends who are married with kids who hesitate to linger post a movie or lunch. I tell them it is perfectly fine to spend a few minutes checking out stuff they enjoy and that the kids would be just fine. They feel guilty. I honestly feel that moms and dads too need a time out, need some ME time. Agree?  It does not make them a bad parent or spouse. It helps them get some space and not go bonkers.. While many of my friends agree to this, they still hesitate to actually do it or are constantly thinking about the kids or calling to check on them every 5 minutes.. 

Coming back to me, I am happy watching TV, reading a book, listening to music[not to forget singing along], playing with my dog, cooking something new, go out and have coffee on my own/watch a movie/sit in a park reading a book or writing a blog post [like this one maybe] and not worry about why am alone or what is wrong with me.. Well, one thing I would like to reiterate is that this does not mean am Anti social, no way! But I am not the partying away all night kind. I love hanging out with people, catching up with friends, going out and having a good time, but that works for a few hours, unless am travelling to a different destination and exploring the place :)

Right now, all i want to do is scream, shut myself off from this world and go away somewhere and be with nobody but ME~ 

What would you do if you were given an hour of Me Time? Go on, share...