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Am a contradiction of sorts. i love going out and having a good time with friends, and i can also stay home chill out over a book or a movie.. Am very passionate about writing, so give me a topic and watch me float away into wonderland... I Am crazy about music,books,friends and my doggie... :)

Monday, May 2, 2016

Friendships and expiry dates..

If someone had told me that friendships came with an expiry date, I would have howled with laughter. Heck, I might have given them a piece of my mind even. 

But today, I know that friendships do come with an expiry date and you need to accept it. It might not be written anywhere, or be screaming at you giving you a warning of sorts, but there are a few that meet the end and that is it. 

Those who know me will accept when I say I have quite a few close folks in my life. But among all these, there are very very very few who am extremely close to, who know me in and out, probably better than I know myself. And they are the ones who have been there for me through it all. Not to say others don't care or are shallow, no way!

This post is about one friendship which met its end, a tad out of the blue, but one that I have shut the doors on. I do feel sad when I look back, but then hey, maybe this was the end of the road for this journey and I have let go. I don't want to reach out or rekindle the bond, for I know it won't be what it was and I will always be questioning my judgement. Yes, this other person did try to reach out, through another friend but I am done! I also thought to myself "If you don't have the decency to reach out to me on your own, do I really matter to you?" Anyways, it is all water under the bridge... 

While it takes me a long time to allow people into my life, to trust them and get close to them, once am in it is for lifetime! Again, this is something that people around me will vouch for. But then, it holds true when I cut off someone. I am done and I don't need them in my life. As bitchy as it sounds, I simply move on and make peace with it. 

So, what happened in these friendships you ask?

Well, circumstances changed.. they changed as a person... I stuck to my ground, I kept giving advice thinking they would change, but just kept seeing em get sucked down the quick sand, with eyes wide open, which is the worst part... 

In these two instances, I was quite close to the kids, but then, what the parent/person does is what matters right... And there is no way I could mend fences just to be with the kids.. Life doesn't work that way! 

Sometimes I also wonder if friendships/relationships come to an end because the other person has no more use for you/me.. Maybe your purpose in their life is done, or they just needed someone in their life at that particular juncture and it was done and dusted with time, so you get kicked out. 

Recently two conversations with two different people kinda gave me a jolt.. One was a friend, who I  have known for nearly 2 decades or more and the other is a friend I have known for just over a year.  They both mean the world to me and we talk about everything under the sun! Wth them I discussed these two lost friendships and we agreed that unfortunately even though I have no expectations or judgements, the other person[s] do/did, which is why it ended/died.....  That's life, you don't get to choose the cards, you play with the hand you are dealt with, right? 


Shailaja Vishwanath said...

Friendship can be a very delicate and slippery slope as well as a set of really strong bonds, Aarti. As you rightly said some relationships just have an expiry date. There isn't anything wrong with it. It's just the way it is.

It's very tough, I know, to have to let go of friends whom you thought you'd known forever but perhaps their role in your life is done and dusted.

Marta Harris said...
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