This post might sound familiar to many who are in their mid 20s and not yet married and for some who are on the other side of the fence as well!!!
Ever since my cousin got married in Nov, i’ve had people telling me ” its about time i got married too”.. am the eldest and still single… they give my mom and dad sympathetic looks and advice on what temple to go to, or what pariharam [ remedial measures] to undertake that might help speed up things…
About a week after the wedding and again recently, i recd an email from a relative, X [no his name doesnt start with X, its just an alphabet] saying —
- – i should not sport short hair style.. i should have long hair, plait it like a “Good girl”
- – i should not go out with friends too much
- – i should not go out in the evenings/ stay out late
- – i MUST respect my parents and family members
- – i should think about Family’s happiness above all else….
- [an advice given orally] i should wear outfits with longer sleeves [ not because i dont look good in short sleeves, but because long sleeves means covering up the tattoo i have on my left forearm]
X’s words —If i were to follow all this, i will GET MARRIED!! [ i kid u not….]
This mail angered me… One other thing that struck me was that would this person have sent the mail if i were married?
I dont understand who made these silly rules?
Who the F gave everyone around me the right to talk to me like i dont have a care in the world and am the most selfish of the lot?
I mean.. read thru the sentences mentioned above… am now gonna break em down and do a bit of venting out on each of them… bear with me plss!!!
I had long hair, its only off late,the past 3-4 yurs that i’ve had short hair… and anyways, what difference does it make?
Do i become a different person cos i have shorter hair?
Does it mean am a rebel? [ i read somewhere on the net that girls with short hair are looked upon as rebels. is that true?]
What is wrong if i wanna do something to alter my appearance? do i need the permission of the entire goddamn society for that??? My body, my wish!! 🙂
2interesting articles i read on the net…. do read when you get time…
To me, friends mean the world.. yes, they are important…. and not because i dont care about my family!!!
I dont make friends easy,but when i do, i stick with them for life..
and i know, when am with them, i am safe, they will take care of me… some are even very protective of me!!
Another thing i realised was that my parents and close family dont ACTUALLY have a problem with friends, but its just the fear that someone somewhere might see their girl out and come complain or gossip about it..
Inspite of me telling them – dont care about others… they are so not able to come out of that Fortress built in their heads….
RESPECT my family —
Call them neenga , vango , pongo [ tamil words denoting high level of respect, typically used in my homes with strangers or relatives who arent very close and people who are in high position, related to temples,etc…]
I dont get it… just because me and my sis are cool with our family members, and have a good relation, where no niceties are required to prove our respect, we are rude???
I can sit and have a conversation with my granpa across topics… Does that mean i am not giving him respect??
[one dialogue my grandparents also give is that – “when they were small, they would be scared to come talk to their uncles, aunts and grandparents”.. what does it mean?where they scared or was that their way of showing respect back then?
Ever since i reached mid 20s, people around me started talking about marriage and one common statement they would make is -Its your happiness that matters!! but when i did reject guys[the 1 or 2 that i saw], they would turn around and oppose my decision…..!! Strange world we live in….!!!
Gosh, dint realise i’ve written so much…Blogsville sure must be wondering if i am losing it or lost it.. As for my friends and cousins… well, pardon me peepals!! 🙂 .. ok, moving on…………….
I got a butterfly, which to me signifies freedom, free spirit… I dint tell anyone at home about it cos i knew they would throw a fit and just wont understand [ i know, some of you might say – have you tried talking to them about it, bla bla… yes, been there, done it and i know what i am saying :)]… when i finally showed it to mom, she said -dint it hurt? and then- you should have gotten a smaller one, up above near the shoulder and an aunt said – you should have gotten a bigger one, or futher down on your arm[ your cousin ABC has a big one… ]
Its only now they have gotten used to it or have decided not to say anything, cos i cant make it go away [ not that i want to]… but they keep asking me every now and then – what if you dont want it one day? ..[ i know that day wont ever come… i am confident of that!!! ]
Let me tell all that am happy being Single!!!! 🙂
Am not against marriage, but am in no hurry… so peepal, stop playing nosey parker….. and get a life and learn to appreciate what i do, or if you cant, then Zip it!!!
What does it mean? My life is worthless cos am single?Na, i dont care about others., i love life and am living it up!!! 🙂
This month, i had decided not to work cos i really did need a break after the 6mth wacko project i was on… and so i had a bit of time to introspect and observe all around me!!! 🙂
Phew…. been meaning to write this post for a while, but i guess it was meant to happen today!!