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Am a contradiction of sorts. i love going out and having a good time with friends, and i can also stay home chill out over a book or a movie.. Am very passionate about writing, so give me a topic and watch me float away into wonderland... I Am crazy about music,books,friends and my doggie... :)

Friday, March 14, 2014

Sacrifice or Compromise!!

A friend recently remarried.... after being single independent woman for nearly 20years! She found this man, a decade older than her, and I dont know if it was instant love or they just grew to like each other over a period of time, but things moved fast and he asked her to marry him. All these years, all she yearned for was someone to give her the status of "wife" and take care of her treat her like a Queen.  Give her a secure life, money, protection, and a home!!  She found all this in him and decided to accept his proposal. I was over the moon, happy for her! I have seen her struggle everyday with uncertainties. She is a strong woman, but has her weaknesses, and always felt there was something amiss.. Her 1st marriage did not last too long, and she has gone through quite a bit of difficulty in life. 

Ok, without digressing further, let me come back to the post. I am writing this following a conversation I had with her few days ago. After a quick round up of what is happening, she spoke of how things were now. This man she has married dotes on her, but has laid down a few rules and norms that he expects her to follow. Infact these were discussed before and I wondered, even asked her about it. She had been keen on starting a business and was nearly there, but then this Man takes her into his hold and tells her she will not do any business, but be there to take care of him, and maybe if she is bored she could start coming to his office [ he runs a business, taken over from his father].. She was told to shut down her business, bank account and close all loops when she moved in with him. 

I know how much effort she has put into this and was quite surprised when she said she was shutting it all down and going to forget about it.  I was honestly shocked and stumped!! How far is a person willing to go for love?! And if this was right?! I expressed my concern and asked if she would be ok living like this, under his shadow, and she instantly replied "yes, he is giving me so much, I can give up these small things"

Makes me wonder- is this a compromise or a sacrifice? This business was her dream, and I know how much sweat & effort has gone into getting the foundation done. The number of meetings she has done, the amount off money she has spent on the proposal and plans. She now tells me she is home, making sure the cook churns out his breakfast on time, and the maids clean the place properly and is overseeing all the household tasks. 

She loves going out, she loves malls, she loves shopping and he is the total opposite- detests malls, shopping but looks like he has visited the mall once with her. She spoke excitedly about the holidays he has planned, the meetings he does and the dog that is getting used to having her around at home. She also told me how his family is quite hostile, how they are all showing their hatred towards her [they feel his property/assets are now out of their reach]. He was married for 30 odd years before his wife passed away and they dont have children... She on the other hand has a daughter who is married and has a family of her own! 

Adjusting and giving in once in a while works in any relationship but to completely give up your life and become a part of someone else's- is that right? 

I guess for someone young and still new to life, it is alright to just adopt their spouse/partner's life, but someone who has lived alone, yearned to accomplish, dreamt a lot to just give it all up- I guess am having trouble digesting this..

Am I wrong? I wish her all the happiness in the world [ God knows she deserves it] but this whole change is what has me puzzled.. 

Thursday, March 6, 2014

10 day blogging challenge - Day 10

And with today, the tag comes to an end. Cant believe 10 days are over already~!

Hmm, the last one is "One confession". Truth be told, I stared at this box for a good 10 mins but drew nothing but a complete blank~!  So, looks like I got nothing to confess, everything to be shared has already been said and done with! The only thing I would say is that "I am very Proud of myself" [if that can be counted as a confession]

It is not that am hiding something or not ready to share, I guess over the past few years, I have been slowly slaying all the dragons in my head, not done anything that I regret or things am ashamed of. People who know me will know that is the truth... I have done things I wouldnt have done few years ago, I have walked on paths I would not have stepped on, I have faced my demons head on, I have made peace with my past and focussed on today!!

As a person I have come a long way and am quite proud of myself! Here's to a great today and tomorrow[s]

Adios all. 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

10 day blogging challenge - Day 9

Wow, what a bounty! They want me to share 2 smileys... Here goes-

Am never a whiny cribby person, and no matter what goes on inside, you will always find me in a good mood, cracking up at the smallest thing... I tackle my fears, any challenges everything head on, with no doubt in my abilities...  So , this is me raising my hands to the world and Man above to say "I dont care what you do, what you throw at me, you can never break my spirit"

And this is me  spreading love, and telling all those around me who are my dear friends and my pillar of strength how much thy mean to me! It is also me showing off how excited I am about what is to happen in the coming months!!  :-) 

See you tomorrow!! 

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

10 day blogging challenge - Day 8

Am sure those who've been following my blog and this tag know more about me than they did in all the time I've known them. But today's task is tad too personal, crossing hop skip jumping too many lines... So, am gonna let the mystery that some say I am linger on longer....

Here is something I feel describes me quite well...

She can kill with a smile
She can wound with her eyes

She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see

She hides like a child,
But she's always a woman to me

She can lead you to love
She can take you or leave you

She can ask for the truth
But she'll never believe you

She is frequently kind
And she's suddenly cruel

She can do as she pleases
She's nobody's fool

And she can't be convicted
She's earned her degree

And the most she will do
Is throw shadows at you ...................................................... :-)

Monday, March 3, 2014

10 day blogging challenge - Day 7

Love the fact the number of things decrease with each passing day!! I like whoever it is who came up with this tag.. Here is the 7th day's tag- Four turn offs...

1. Am so done with people who are negative all the time
I know of quite a few, all they do is complain or crib or whine and this is done round the clock!! I realised the more am around them, the more it brings me down and so I had to take a stance and draw the line!!

2. Respect me or else you know where the door is! This is the policy I follow.  Where do people get off taking you for granted, not respecting you and showing even the tiniest bit of appreciation. This applies to both men and women, friends and family!! Similarly, I stay away from people who do not Respect women- they are the worst kind...

3. Adjust when required. You cannot be rigid and refuse to budge,
even if it means I am going out of my way to do something or get something done for you! There are a few who just dont care, they stay glued and refuse to budge, just dont understand or accommodate. 

4. And the last one belongs to the category of people who are all about "taking". It could be things, money, books, jewellery or bigger things such as time, energy, efforts and then just dont care after! You are
left feeling "used"..

See you on the other side of today~!!

Sunday, March 2, 2014

10 day blogging challenge - Day 6

Hmmm, there are things that have you thinking little more than usual. This is one such tag, everyday I have had to think think and pen down the post for the day. Once again, I go off to do the same for today's theme.. 

1. An & Ni - These are two girls who mean the world and some more.. They have known me for a while now and kinda sense what am going through... Have heard me out, been there for me, given me a kick when i needed one and let me be as well.. I lean on them, turn to them, whine/complain/rejoice/celebrate with them 1st before the rest of the world gets to know.... Love them both to bits, their families, kids as well :)  And to be honest, Ar is also nearly there- love you girl!! :-)  

2. AB- Well, we may not be in touch as much as before, we barely even talk to each other anymore, outside of the one off "hi hello" but you will also mean so much to me and my life. Lessons learnt, moments shared, and well everything else you & I know!! :D 

3. Boss and now Floppy- Both my dogs, they mean the world to me- for teaching me the value of love, for being there always. Boss- miss you girl, you were so quiet and just lay there while I ranted and complained... Floppy- love you mister, you are the hottest happening man in my life now and you teach me everday how to love unconditionally, I see you once, maybe twice a week for a few hours, but you are so forgiving and always ready to show me how much you love, and wait for me to walk in through the gate to start complaining.. i miss you every second am away from you baby.. 

4. Me- Yes, i mean a lot to me. Every day I wake up thankful for all that I have done in life and look forward to an exciting day ahead. I learnt early on that I am and will always be the most important person in my life!! 

5.  Other Friends & Family - There are a few who have quite a difference to my life, there are moments with them that makes them special and some mean a lot for just being themselves..

Until tomorrow... 

This Monday.. Ignite the fire within

10 day blogging challenge - Day 5

One of my favorite songs from my childhood is the "10 green bottles hanging on the wall, if one green bottle was to accidentally fall, then 9 green bottles hanging on the wall... and so it goes till only 1 is left." Similarly, on this blogging challenge, am now on my 5th day, so here are Six things that I wish I had never done... Hmmm.. six is a large number, do I know of that many? Here goes,

Saturday, March 1, 2014

10 day blogging challenge - Day 4

Phew, time sure flies. Today is the 1st day of the 3rd month of this new year- damn, where did Jan & Feb go? Sigh... Oh right, I am supposed to tell you about 7 things that cross my mind often.. Hmm, let me see.. there is this,a and then there is that, oh yes the other thing.. hehe..