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Am a contradiction of sorts. i love going out and having a good time with friends, and i can also stay home chill out over a book or a movie.. Am very passionate about writing, so give me a topic and watch me float away into wonderland... I Am crazy about music,books,friends and my doggie... :)

Monday, December 26, 2016

Living next to schools

[Image courtesy: Google]

For as long as I can remember, we have always lived closed to a school, either across the road from one or right next door to one. In Madurai, we lived across the road from the school, the one I went to. And then came Tirunelveli, where we two streets away from one and then moved right next door to it.

Oh and guess what, now that we are in Chennai, my folks live in a street with not one but 5 schools on it and I live in a house that is bang opposite one,went to a school that was within walking distance as well.. hahah.. what are the odds of that right? 
Now, why am I writing this post? Well, I just felt like sharing my experience about living in a home so close to a school. So, here goes... 

The Frills and fancies- Advantages
  • Walking distance– When I was in school, it was so cool. The school was just a hop skip jump away. I could leave home with 5 minutes to the 1st bell and still make it with few seconds left. There were times when we would be away for the holidays, and land back in town the morning of school reopening. It was courtesy this lack of distance that I could get ready in a jiffy and make it to school.  
  • Safe neighbourhood—Now in Chennai, since we live opp a school, there is always movement during the day, and there is a police van parked right outside day and night.  
  • Access to park, walking track and play area- These days, it is good to have some space to walk or run in, I just strap on my shoes and hit the area. Similarly, I have had times when I ended up playing basketball or volleyball with school kids [works cos the security guard/school nuns know me].
Shouts and Rants- Disadvantages
  • Too close for comfort- During school days, everyone knew where I lived and so it became easy for people to just hop in home [back when I was in school, you had to pass by my house to get to anywhere].. have had teachers hop across to speak to mom or friends drop by for snacks at odd hours..
  • Parking drama - We now have cars, autos and bikes blocking our gates constantly.. twice a day for a few hours every time. No matter how many times we tell them, they just don't care... 
  • Traffic woes - Noise and air pollution from traffic, come 7.45am I run inside home and stay put for an hour till things settle down and similarly in afternoon around 3-4pm..
  • Loitering–I know that during my school days, we would all loiter about near home, sitting around on platforms, or playing in the streets. well, it is no different now. we still have students loitering around our house while waiting to be picked up.
  • School buses and vans parked forever outside our gate... 
  • Noise from school events– Oh gosh, don't get me started.. Republic day, school day, sports day, etc etc.... the march pasts, the dance recitals.. whatever it is, there is constant sound and yes i call it sound cos it is loud...  I work from home and so it i get quite painful trying to concentrate..  
  • School/teen romance- Oh read it right... there are always the girl or boy lurking about waiting for their boyfriend/girlfriend to come over so they can have a rendezvous behind a bus or van... And then there are a few who lurk about sneaking in a smoke.  
And now all I can do is grit and plug in my headphones to drown out the noise... Well, do you have any such experiences? Do share em... 

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Battle with the body - VIII

Sorry, it has been a while since I wrote the next post in this series... Just been busy with life- aka no internet or mobile connectivity.. :/

Few months back I was out for a coffee meeting with a friend , we were catching up on a while and so it was something I was looking forward to. I wore a blue printed shirt with black pants.. The minute I walked into the coffee shop, I was generally scanning the place to see if my friend was already there. I then went over to a table for 2 and took a seat. There was a couple in the table next to mine. I looked up, made eye contact with the lady who after a second smiled a half hearted smile. I smiled back and began to rummage through my bag for the book I was carrying. 

Couple of minutes later, my friend landed and we began yapping away. During the course of the conversation she mentioned how it was nice to see me in stuff apart from Salwar kameez. She said she wished she could also bring herself to try something different. This statement had me frowning and I suggested she give it a shot. I went on to tell her how these days I barely wear salwar or kurti, it is always something different and am enjoying it. Especially given the fact that I can find clothes that fit me easily. 

Jokingly, I asked her how she was managing the saree and 3/4th sleeve blouse, especially in this hot weather. She commented "err, how can women of our size wear all these clothes?".... "some are short, show off our butt, hips, arms and well doesn't look nice na"

The Aarti from 10 years ago might have agreed with her and sighed. but today I disagree.. I looked at her with a straight face and told her "who the eff told you so?" "have you looked around you,  noticed how pretty you are and that you can actually carry off anything you wear?".. "Also, why do you care about others..."

She sheepishly admitted that all she wanted most days was to blend in and be a part of the background, almost remain invisible. Her husband keeps telling her she is big, she is fat and should stick to salwar or saree. Now that is a topic for a later post.. but for now, I was just zapped. The R that I knew was a spunky girl, one that loved dressing up in bright colours, she would wear lipstick and eyeliner even if we were just stepping out for a movie.. And today she has become this... 

It was a moment of revelation. Words can take such a toll on one's confidence and this in turn affects all other aspects of their lives. They get beaten down royally, left thinking they are not worthy of love, affection or a second glance and resign to living this way... wtf right.. 

Not only that, but she is so caught up with this whole scenario that she refuses to see there is more to life than the words hurled at her... she needn't cower and cave in. Sigh. After our coffee, I took her along to this store I shop from  and got her to see some of the cool clothes they had. She tried on a few, infact loved almost all she had tried on but hesitated to pick them up. Why- cos her husband would not approve... I took it upon myself and got her a top and trousers, telling her to just give it a try.. maybe wear it the next time we met..  She reluctantly accepted the package, but not without protesting and making excuses.  

I am yet to see her in those clothes, asked her about them once but shall wait for her to make the change on her own... Just wish she sees herself for who she is and not what others say.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Time and Friendships..

Time changes a lot of things, it changes how we look, how we think and even how we process information. Heck, it changes what we want/desire as well. 

What has also happened over time is the changes in technology , the influx of social networking websites- twitter, Facebook, instagram, pinterest, whatsapp, telegram, hike, and so on.. All of these has made it so much easier to reach out and connect  with. We dont ever need to lose touch with anyone, ever again, as the number of "online friends" grow by the day. There is something wonderful about reconnecting with an old school friend, or finding an ex colleague on one of these platforms. It gives us such an adrenalin rush that we bask in its glory for a while. Now I know a lot of people who show off how many Facebook friends they have or Twitter Followers. While on one side you boast of this, on the other side there are brands who are keen to connect with these very people, cos they seem to have moved to a category called "influencers" [whatever that means...].. But then, what is the point of having so many friends, if you are in touch with a handful on a regular basis? So, it actually looks like having the gazillion friends is not a good thing after all.  What is surprising is that there are quite a few of our "online friends" we haven't met ever or spoken to more than once.

It has come to a point where when we met someone, the first thing they ask is "are you on Fb?".. A guy you connect with on a  dating site asks if he can add you in on Fb.. Oh, and I have actually had guys from dating apps find me on Fb and send me messaging asking for a connect.. I mean, WTF~ Why this obsession? I know it sounds like am anti social networking sites, no way.. I love it, and have my moments on it but don't get this whole "need to be connected for the sake of it" phenomenon...I had recently written another post on how people have become addicted to these apps and I am not really kicked about the whole "being in touch" all the time concept. 

Again, am not saying Social media or online world is a bad thing, just wondering what is the point of it all. Therefore, it seems quite natural that time also affects the relationships we have and the bonds we have built in life. Over the past few years, I have noticed that the number of "friends" [people am close to, in confide in, I meet/hang out with often and of course trust] has dwindled in numbers. But this is a good thing. I am quite happy with the few that am close to, i have around me and don't really miss the others who were left behind. 

Yes, I do get the occasional message asking if am alright, how come no messages etc, but then those die out with time as well. 

It got me wondering- why does this happen? Is it something that everyone goes through or something that is just me... Within few minutes, I stop wondering and move on in life. 

I guess its just that over time 
our tolerance for drama goes down, 
we stop staying in touch with those who add no value to our lives, 
who have no major aspirations or dreams.... 
And those who drain us of energy with their emotional drama/mess...

It is only fair to me to have people who mean something, who care, and who are true blue friends... Otherwise, I would just be unfair to myself.. Am happy with the 4-5 around, eternally grateful for them as well. So, who is your 5? 

Friday, November 4, 2016

Battle with the body - VII

So am on a holiday in a different city now. A city that has a reputation of being ultra cool and the place to be in if you wanna have fun. Well, it beats me but still the world believes it is so… What do I know, right?!  

Anyways, today I was at a mall where there were these two girls and a guy walking ahead of me. One of the girls was on the plus size side, the guy was skinny and the other girl was petite. I commented to my friend on the dress one of the girls was wearing that it was pretty and I was tempted to ask where she had bought it. They soon walked away and we lost sight of them for a while. Eventually, we went into Krispy Kreme as my friend’s hubby had picked up coffee for us where I saw the trio seated chatting animatedly.

In the table beside them were three guys who were laughing and talking aloud, in tamil. They were passing comments about the girl who was on the bigger side and connected her with the guy, saying crass things- about who would be on top, and if the guy would get crushed under the girl, if they were into threesomes and so on.  It so happened that I got a call at that very moment from home and spoke aloud in tamil. One of the guys turned when he heard that looked at my face and immediately dragged his homies and they rushed away. He stopped laughing and face changed expression instantly. I wish I had captured the moment.

How disgusting. The trio was oblivious and chatted away in Kannada, which got me thinking that language too plays such a big role in our lives. If they had understood these guys or if the guys had commented in Kannada there would have been a fight [atleast I hope there would have been one]. It hurt me that people behaved in such a crass manner, without an ounce of compassion towards their fellow humans.

Are they just jobless or do they get some kick out of behaving this way? Why does someone else’s body become a matter of discussion? When did this become the cool gossip? I was also ashamed that they were tamil….

Why are people so shallow, so dirty minded? Is it age, or is it their upbringing or do they think it is cool to talk like this? Beats me…

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Battle with the body - VI

Imagine the worst thing you have gone through in life and then in the same breathe read this...

A girl [of about 16 yrs of age] is walking on the street to the post office in a metropolitan city when few other kids [school going girls] who are heading home look at her, point, sneer and comment something to each other before bursting into giggles. This girl halts in her steps and slows down, not wanting to be seen out in the open. She intact starts lurking in the shadow and waits for the girls, and everyone else on the street to go before heading on her way. 

And then come these two guys on the bike, who are staring at her, slow down as they cross her and laugh as they sing "Kaththirikka kaththirikka gundu kaththirikka .."

While these might just be passing moments in the passer by's life, it leaves a lasting scar on the girl's mind. She is left feeling so bad about herself, wondering why she is the way she is and if this is how her life is going to be. Not to forget the gazillion people who under the pretext of being nice and caring tell her she is fat and fugly and nobody would want to marry her. She becomes a recluse, stops going out other than to college, does not have any friends, does not talk to anyone, just sits in her room reading or drawing .... She hates going out with family cos they are embarrassed about her, she doesnt get clothes her size and needs to go to one of the plus size stores and there are people constantly giving her advice on how to lose weight, and why it is not nice to be big.  

At a family function recently, an uncle [about 45yrs of age] came, sat next to her and initiated a conversation, asking her what she did, where was she studying etc. And then few minutes later asked her if she could get him some coffee. She got up and went towards the dining area. Suddenly she feels a hand under her kurti, turned around and saw it was the same uncle there groping her. She started protesting and wiggling out, but he held on tight and tried to push his hands up her breasts under the bra. She threw the cup of coffee on him and bolted back to the main hall looking for her mom. When she told her mom what had happened, her mom promptly gave her a reprimand saying she must have said or done something to provoke him. She writes that she started crying, but had to hold back tears till they got home an hour later... Says she felt alone and lost. Oh and few weeks before her 17th birthday, she even thought of committing suicide.. Why? Because clearly no one in this world loves her or cares about her... She managed to get through her birthday but says everyday is a struggle. 

Born in a family where almost everyone is big built, she says it is surprising that nobody seems to understand what she is going through  or empathises with her. She has joined a gym two weeks ago and goes early in the morning, finishes workout, showers changes and heads to college. Few days ago, a guy who works out there started talking to her, sharing his personal battle with the bulge and she says he is nice, we share our horror stories, laugh over it... maybe there is a friendship brewing there. 

Well, if you think this is a cooked up story and such things don't happen for real, let me stop you right there.. This was an email I received few days ago.  I read, and re-read this email to make sure I was reading it right.. Could not believe that a mom would act this way with her own child.. I mean, wtf is wrong with the world. Why this obsession with size, why this assumption that big is fugly, why this discrimination? 

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Dear Diary... mind wanders

Hey There,

Yes, I do agree.. Am sorry for abandoning you for so long. But well, in my defence I was busy living it up. 

Say what, you don't believe me, is it? haha.. well, what can i say.

I manage to revisit a town I had nearly taken off my list of "fond destinations I have been to" and well, it just might be sneaking back into the list, atleast somewhere at the bottom for now. And whilst there, I had some kind of light bulb moment as well. It dawned on me how much I have changed over the years. Not sure if it was cos of life, or just generally, you know the whole "matures with age, like wine"

The conversations, the moments, the way I was thinking, the kind of things I wanted to do, the people I connected with- they were all very different from what I would have done few years ago. So I guess somewhere I grew up.. That said, I was glad I still have a bit of the kid left in me. A friend told me I was good fun to talk to- have serious conversations, bounce off ideas, and yet crack up and have quite a few laughs.. Well, I will take that as a compliment and smile away. 

Over the course of months, there have been a few friendships that have become stronger, some have faded and others well they are just there... I guess as with most of us, time is a test for many things in life- work, friendships, memories, pain, la la la, the list is endless. 

I continue to be happy being on my own, I don't long for company, there are very few I miss talking to, some conversations tire me out [they are invariably like the hamster on the wheel, go round and round with no end in sight] and some leave me energised wanting to go conquer the world [or what little I can]

While I sit here waiting for a friend, I look around at the many faces, some waiting for company, while others are focussed on their gadgets, and some have a forlorn look on their faces. A few look up, make contact and smile, while one just turned her face away. This reminds me of the book I love-  Phantoms in the Brain: Probing the Mysteries of the Human Mind  by V. S. Ramachandran .. What can I say, Human beings never cease to amaze me!

Well, ok, enough rambling, might as well go get a start on work ... until next time! 


This Monday.. Jump into the deep end

Sunday, October 9, 2016

In touch..

I grew up in Madurai and Tirunelveli before landing in Chennai, so my growing years were quite different.. heck, we dint have a phone at home till I was in my 7th and the same applies for a TV. But then, I never missed them. I was out almost all the time, until mom was yelling out asking me to come back home. School was around the corner, I would go walking and since we lived in a small town, there were a few streets around our home where most of my friends lived in.  We used to go to an aunt's house nearby to watch TV shows and same went true for phone calls, someone from there would come over to tell mom she had a call, and it used to be called Trunk call.. :) 

It was one of those ideal childhoods, I dint have to worry about being out late, did not have to worry about being groped or raped [ I don't think i even knew the meaning of these words back then].  Come holidays, I would be in Chennai at grandparents home , being spoilt by all.- books, tv shows, outings, etc... I was the 1st and only grand kid [grand daughter] for a while.. :-) 

I used to receive post cards from grandpa and uncles whenever they travelled and I still have most of them. I hadn't been introduced to letter writing then, and so the only way to keep in touch was the occasional phone call or during the holidays. And I was more than happy with things the way they were. Infact, my uncles used to visit us with bag full of cassettes and books, they are the ones who got me hooked on music & reading..

Today I woke up wishing I could rewind time..

[Image courtesy]

[Image courtesy:]

With all this Social media and WhatsApp, I feel there is way too much "contact" and am not too kicked about it. Yes, we do need to keep in touch with our loved ones, but do we need to be in touch all the time.. Do we need to tell them whats happening, whats going on, what we are doing, ask what they are upto etc etc.... It sometimes suffocates and I just switch off Data /wifi and run away [metaphorically] 

The apps I have on my phone were Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, Amazon kindle, Duolingo, Tinder [had few others but deleted them along the way] apart from few other utility based ones [bank and bsnl] ..  

I deleted Facebook about 2 months back and use only Page manager [ my page and client accounts] and it has been quite peaceful.. But yes, I do see there are certain events I am missing out on cos am not on FB, but then its ok. I do check it once in a few days to see if anything earth shattering is posted... There are a few characters who not only post fwds/images/videos on their wall, but feel the need to message me the links and if i havent responded within a few minutes I get the same on whatsapp.. i mean, seriously, chill won't you!..It reminds me of this guy I went out with very very briefly- he would msg on fb, follow it with a text and a whatsapp and even a mail [no am not exaggerating].. it is called stalking, not reaching out :-) 

Twitter - was a fun app few years ago and now seems to have become a place where people wake up looking for something to outage on, or thrust their opinions on.. And then there are those who are looking for ego massages.. [ no am not generalising, but you agree with me...admit it ]

Skype is another app that I have used ages ago, but then stopped and deleted. There are times when guys am talking to insist on doing a Skype call and again I just say no!! Phone works just fine, Thank you! 

Kindle - was telling a friend am tempted to buy one esp since there is an offer going on. But then the whole idea of carrying one more device, worrying about charge, etc just killed the temptation..yayyy

When friends tell me to try  Telegram, Snapchat, Alo or any of the other apps, I blatantly deny cos I have no use for them. Am sure there are gonna be new ones cropping up daily.. Somehow feel we all either have too much time on our hands or just become so lonely that we need to keep active on these many apps so the world doesn't forget us.. Guess we need to draw the line, get our priorities in place and move ahead... :-(  

While I do love it, esp cos it is part of what I do for a living, and am always curious about whats new, I sometimes feel it has taken over our lives.. 

Technology - I love it and gotta learn to live with it ~!! 

An interesting article about why people use social media

Monday, September 19, 2016

No means No.. always!

Well, for those who have seen the movie Pink, you will identify the title of the post and the image above.. as for others, am glad you haven seen the movie yet! While I enjoyed the movie, loved every dialogue and nuance, it left me baffled..

A quick synopsis of the movie for those wondering what am talking about...It talks about how ...
  • just because she wears modern clothes doesn't mean she is easy and will sleep with the guy
  • just because she is friendly with guys doesn't mean she is easy and will sleep with the guy
  • just because she has a drink with a guy doesn't mean she is easy and will sleep with the guy... 
The movie is about respecting a girl , her wishes and words...When she says NO, it means NO.. It does not give the guy the right to force her into getting physical...It has to be by invitation only and with mutual consent. While the girls in the movie are all single, this rule applies to married/other status women as well. Husbands also need to respect their wife's wishes and leave them be... its the basic!!

When I walked out of the theater, the only thought in my head was --- 

  • Do we actually need a movie to scream out to the world "no means no"?? 
  • How many people will actually change watching this movie?
  • Will it make any effing difference?
Heck, there was a group of guys sitting next to me in the theater and at a point one of them actually commented "abbeyaar, stop preaching already".. :O 

Maybe I have become cynical or just lost hope of this society ever changing~ And that is what pisses me off the most. It all boils down to the girl[single/married/others], at the end of the day she is blamed for anything the pricks do. She wears revealing clothes, she must have smiled at the guy, she hangs out with guys at bars/pubs, she is out late in the night, she lives alone/with roomies... la la laaaa....

I remember few years ago I wanted to move out and live on my own. I had a tough time trying to find an apartment cos most places were not open to renting it to a single gal.. Some just gave random excuse, while others asked questions "will you have guys visiting? will you work late? and when I told them I mostly worked from home, they were all the more sceptical.. They dint understand the concept of freelance and weren't sure I was going to make enough money .. Or maybe the thought I had a sugar daddy who would pay my But luckily I found a place [my Bff moved to bombay and her dad rented the apartment to me no questions asked] :-) The society is always ready to point a finger at us gals, but never pause and think otherwise.. 

I do have guy friends, I am quite independent and don't mind going out with friends [guys/girls] and can take care of myself. Yes there are times when I get home late in the night... Well, am this angry cos I could so identify with the movie and the crux of it all cos I have experienced it myself. I had once met a guy who did not understand the meaning of No, inspite of me repeating it a gazillion times. He would say I hear you, I respect you but he kept touching and it came to a point where I literally had to bolt from the vehicle at a traffic signal... I was angry and sad not at what happened with me, but that such men exist in this world and seem to be the majority. What is worse is he messages the next day asking when we were gonna meet next.. $#@#%@%#%. I replied saying never! [am sure he would move to the next girl on the list and it din't make a difference if one girl turned him down]

It disgusts me when I read news of girls being raped, heck they don't spare babies even.. Oh let's not forget cows and horses and dogs as well.. I know I shouldn't generalise, but then everyday when you read such news it disgusts me that men are allowed to even exist in this world.. Why doesn't a tornado or some such wipe em out? I am not against men, I have quite a few good friends who are guys but these incidents and behaviour has me questioning the logic of it all..

I know at the end of the day, the society the mind set needs to change, but someone needs to make a start somewhere.. At home, I know people trust me but they still cave in to the so called society and advice me constantly not to stay out late, or hang out with guys here and there. It gets to me, but I just nod and smile [gritting teeth inside]. Why are all so ready and find it easy to point fingers at the girl?Why don't we blame the guys? Or worse is there are statements such as "men are like that, they think and act only with their d*, so it is you girls who need to act wisely and safeguard yourself.." are you serious? Wtf... I want to scream at people who preach, who say grow your hair out, cover your tattoos, wear full covered salwar pyjama etc...I have lost track of the number of times I have turned back and asked " Err, havent you been eating news? all kinds of girls get raped and killed, it does not matter what you wear.. The mentality is what needs to be sent to the laundry... "

I am gonna blame it all on Adam & Eve.. I wonder if Eve said No when Adam made advances, if he neglected that and that is the place where it all began.....

[incidentally this is used as a dialogue in the movie as well]

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

The drama around emergency contraception....

About a fortnight ago, a friend [someone I have met a couple of times] messaged me in the morning asking if I could get a “morning after” pill. I have never really bought any nor was I aware of the kinds available in the market, and so went over to the nearest pharmacy and asked him for one. He stared at me for a minute and said they are all banned ma, you wont find them here any more. I was stumped, dint give up, went to the nearest Apollo pharmacy where I was told the exact same thing.

I dint know what to do. I wanted to help her and so messaged a friend who is a doc asking about this. He in turn told me that most places do moral policing and will judge which is why they wont give me the pill. He also gave me a term [an ingredient] to ask for at the nearest Apollo. I called and checked but they dint have any and told no stock, some such or it wasnt not available. While I was  not franctic or panicky, I did not know what to do and was quite puzzled about this whole thing.

I thought to myself “a girl should have a choice right.. she needs to know there is some protection available in case she has unprotected sex. Yes I agree that having unprotected sex is a stupid thing but then we all do such things in life and  by banning the “emergency contraceptive” the government was almost punishing the woman for doing something that isn’t really wrong.. Heck, atleast she is sensible enough to know she can prevent unwanted pregnancies.

As a last resort, I took to the platform that I thought would be able to help me- Twitter. I put up a post asking where I could get my hands on this pill and what was the alternative. I was amazed at the kind of responses I got.

Surprisingly not a single person gave lectures or waved their finger disapprovingly. Almost all suggested pills such as iPill, Unwanted 72 and Clr-72.. I in turn would reply saying none of them are available and I was told they are all banned here. Infact one guy even suggested going to Blore or Pondy to pick up one in that case. A friend messaged in private suggesting the girl go meet the gynaec at Apollo, who was very nice, would give consultation and a prescription for something that would work.   Oh and one friend shared this link as well [an old article but a good one]

I was very grateful to all these suggestions and friends who came forward to share my post and offer inputs. Some went on to recommend medical stores that they were sure would have a pill, while another told me to contact her next time I needed something.  During the twitter conversations, I also approached our usual pharmacy and he came to my rescue. Managed to find a company that made a pill and got me one- Postpone 72 was the name of the pill. I picked up two of them and gave them to the friend and also told her to go meet the doc, which she did with her boyfriend the very next day~

Why are the Government/governing bodies making life so difficult for a girl? As it is we have enough issues to deal with without them throwing us off the loop like this.

So what if the girl wants to have sex and not have a baby?
So what if she gives in and does something stupid..
Do we brand her a slut?
Why does the society judge a girl but a guy is not questioned?
Why does the girl made to feel shame if she has sex with a guy [someone she loves/cares abt/is dating/engaged to/etc]

Sad that we live in a country that is so closed… Girls are constantly told what to do, what to wear, what not to do… pah, the list is endless..

Friday, August 26, 2016

Battle with the body - V

Everyday is a new day, and every new day brings with it few interesting experiences... Right? Well, what can I say..  This post is gonna be a bit of a rant, so be warned... 

I have always been on the heavier side, and am tall as well. So this has me standing out no matter where I go. But then, hey it is me and am ok with me.. What is your effing problem?Am not in your space, am not obstructing your path and you just wanna mock.. Why? Cos am different.. 

[image courtesy]

I have lost count of times when I walked off angry, but these days I don't. 

If I catch someone staring at me- be it on the road or elsewhere, I stare back till they turn away.. 

If I catch someone pointing and laughing, I walk up to them smile say hello and then walk away.
[I have actually had people apologise few seconds later or cringe and walk away] 

You know what, I can climb 6-8  flights of stairs and not be panting for my life... 
I can walk 10kms and not be ready to collapse.. 
How many of you can do that?

Actually none of these matter... What is it going to take for people to take on the "live and let live" concept? It is so easy.. You just go about doing your thing and not be curious about others... Simple~ 

One thing over the past few months I have realised is that it is not just people who are big that get mocked/ridiculed, people who are skinny face the same thing, except in their case it is with a dash of sympathy or worry while for the others it is with disgust..

And true to a comment I received on the post, many a times it all starts at home, with your own family- what do you when they treat you differently? pass comments? That is when it really hurts. You wonder why they don't understand, why they don't bother to understand.... Does it not matter? or has the Society [which they fail to realise has been created by them] fogged their minds to an extent, they have stopped thinking for themselves? I have a few friends who are also on the heavier side [ men and women] and I shudder every time I hear someone around them comment on their size.

There are a few women who are on the heavier side because they would have just had a baby.. or dealing with PCOS, thyroid or any of the million health conditions that leave them lost and having no control over their body's tendency to lose/gain weight..

Oh no, none of that matters.. We[the morons, pricks, people who pass comments] will assume they eat and keep eating which is why they are big... hahaha... shows how small your brain is and how stupid you really are.

I agree that being big does have a few health implications, but if someone has none of those, they get to lead a happy life, without the prying eyes lurking about...


Friday, August 19, 2016

Battle with the body - IV

From the minute you wake up in the morning till you call it a night, there are people telling you what to do, what to eat, what to wear, what to buy, what not to do, what not to eat, what not to wear, what not to buy and well, the list is endless.. But why? What is their problem in life or is it that they don't have a life? 

I do agree some of them have good intentions, but for many it is about "Am being seeing with you outside, or you are a reflection of me[parents esp] and so you need to look a certain way for it to be ok with the world and its grandmother/grandfather/uncle/and whoever else...." That is so unfair right? What do they know about our lives, what do they know about our body.... Who died and made them king/queen of the world?

OK, ok, lemme not get carried away... Its jus that have been receiving quite a few emails/comments/ messages on this topic that it makes me sad we live in a world where so much is defined by one's appearance... 

While I process all the mails and messages I have got, I came upon this image that sums up pretty much all that we go through in life, courtesy #Bodyshaming... 

[Image source-]

Stay tuned for more....