I got off the cab & said “Thank you” to the cabbie before shutting the door….
My friend looks at me in wonder and exclaims- “what was that?”
Me- What was what?
Friend- Why the “Thank you”?
Me- Well, he drove well, and got me to my destination without any hiccups.. I always say Thank you at the end of a ride.. Heck, I even say this to auto drivers, or anyone who does anything… the cook, the maid as well
Friend- Hmmm… Interesting
Me – It is basic courtesy
Friend- *Shrugs shoulder and walks ahead*
Sometimes I wonder if I am born in the wrong era.. I believe in basic etiquette & courtesies, I believe in thanking people, apologising and saying Please when I want favours… But then am surrounded by those who don’t seem to follow these norms and that irks me. Yes, call me a prude or weird, but that is me!
When am in the movie hall/play/concert/performance space, I do not take calls, I will send message and call them during Interval, or get out of the hall if it is an emergency.
I also don’t check my phone when on a date… infact, the phone is away in my bag in silent mode…
I don’t watch videos or listen to music aloud, it is always with a headphone [be it on the phone or laptop].. especially when in the metro train, or in a space with others in it.
I also hate gossip and back stabbing.. Infact, that is one reason why I quit my corporate job and did not climb up the ladder as fast as few others did..
I am never/rarely late to a meeting, be it work based or catching up with a friend. I would rather be early and wait than be late and tardy..
I keep my word- I will never ever leave a person hanging after making plans. Even if I am just not in the mood, will send them a message and tell them it isn’t happening.
When heading out somewhere I always keep people posted about my timeline.. Giving them updates on my location and how far off I am..
I mutter an “excuse me” when I sneeze/cough.. cover my nose/mouth.. Dont pick my nose or fart/burp/barf in public…
I guess I am one of those who grew up developing these habits and manners with time and expect them from others as well. I believe in the whole “treat others the way you would want to be treated”. And so I don’t understand the whole “Me” behaviour these days.
It pisses me off when people make plans and then flake out without a word. And they dont apologise for it later as well. Dont they understand that people have lives, might have plans and they hold them back?
Recently, someone I connected with made big plans- lets go watch the match together, and then go out for ice cream. He had said he got tickets through a friend! So, the next day I waited for him to message about where to meet, or what the plan was. But nothing till 5ish.. And then came a message that said “If Dhoni isn’t playing we chill at home, else go watch”. I replied saying “Dhoni is playing, just got update” … and that was it.. Silence from his end… I even called, but no answer to the call. Anyways, after a few minutes I gave up and got into watching the match from home…
I got a response from him next day around 10am saying he saw the message at 5am, had slept off cos he was tired.
I told him -“well, wish I had known, could have atleast picked up the ticket and gone to watch the match”…
He- “I get no notifications , only when I open message app will I know you have messaged”.
I said “Well, I have notification for select few who matter…”
He – “I know its weird, but that is me.. cool na?”
I said -Yes, very cool…
How would you classify this behaviour? Is it being cocky, or aloof or just “I don’t care about anyone but myself” or am I reading too much into it?!
It is perfectly fine to do what you want, when you want provided it involves none but you. But the minute you involve someone else, you should keep them updated.. Agree or no?
Am the kind who does things on my own 90% of the time- eating out, movie, concert, travel, shopping, cricket match etc etc.. There have been days when I would be done with work, look for some events, and just up & go. I have had friends tell me “you should have told me, would have come”.. “Oh you sneaky you… went off and watched it “.. I am not being sneaky or selfish, it is just that I am so used to it, I just do it out of reflex.
Many a times, I ping friends telling them of my tentative plan.. They come back with a “oh no, cant do it today, maybe on friday or monday…”.. But then if that works for me, we make plans together, however if otherwise I just do what works for me. I might redo it with that person when it suits them [more to give them company]
Similarly, when you borrow things/books from people, make sure to return it in good condition or if damaged, give a heads-up instead of hoping the giver does not notice… It has been years but i still remember this person borrowing a book from me, moving to a different city and not bothering to send it back or even let me know they lost it/keeping it.. I have moved on, but I hate such behaviour, it is as bad as folding the pages or returning a piece of jewellery or clothing with damage in it…
That is me~!
Even at home I follow these rules. I thank our maid, driver, cook, paper delivery lady or whoever else comes to do repairs when they are done! It does not matter if they were rude, shody or incompetent… I thank them before they leave the premises…
So, today when family/others just assume am gonna be doing something cos they demand it or when a friend just sends a msg asking for x amount of money or a favour, I hesitate.. I think twice, and then take a call. I have turned down people cos they just assume am gonna be available at their beck and call. Even if am just home chilling, with nothing to do I tell them otherwise.
We need to learn to respect each other, value each others’ time and be appreciative when people take the time out/ do things for us! Say what you will, if you don’t do these, am sorry the respect I have for you goes down a notch… I also feel these traits need to be inculcated from a young age, not to forget kids learn from the adults around them- be it their parents, extended family, friends or even hired help….
I guess when the parents don’t know these basic etiquettes , how are they going to teach them to their kids? Or why would the child follow even if taught at school or by others..? They see their family/parents doing something inappropriate and getting away with it, they are gonna follow suit.. and hey, you can’t shout at your kid at a later stage/point of time for their behaviour… It wasn’t wrong, according to them!! Hmpfh…
Few days back, I was crossing the road to get to home, and I kid you not when I say I saw a kid point to me and laugh, and then ask the adult next to him to look, which they promptly did with a chuckle that followed….they were in an auto and the vehicle had stopped to let me pass… I was shocked and horrified… I would have ideally stopped and had a word with them, but today was not in the mood to spend energy on these people who do not matter.. Hopefully, they teach the child better manners and learn some as well..
Am sorry if this post was too long and I kept you from whatever you were doing!! Have a fabulous day ahead …