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Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Lessons learned from Living alone..

I went from living with my parents, gramma and great grandma to living with my grandparents and now I live on my own.. Alone! 

Here are a few little lessons I have learnt over the past year since I moved out,

1. When the bills come, you don’t get to put them away and forget about them-  When you are living at home with family, you don't ever worry about bills, especially the EB, Water and land line bills. The only ones I ever paid were my own expenses, internet dongle and mobile bill. But now all the bills that land in my mailbox are meant for me and I need to pay them. Nobody cares if you are strapped for funds or why you have spent as much as you have.  

2. The food you buy is all yours, or not.. -- If I have forgotten to buy groceries, then I have no food [ unless I decide to splurge and order in]. I buy bread or Dosa maavu, rava or semiya I can get by, else am left wondering what am gonna eat. And the best part is, I don't have to worry about what I eat and when. If I choose to eat a salad for dinner, then that is all I will munch on, or I might go all out and make pongal -sambar for dinner. I have also started carrying over food [ when there is too much, and it is good food and cannot be wasted]. It is ok, I don't mind!! I have had crackers and a glass of milk for dinner  



3. Oh, no, there is a pile of dirty dishes in the sink... Umm, it is all mine. I have learnt there is no magical maid who is going to walk in and clean them up. I cook, I clean! So, I tend to reuse vessels a lot more and wash up right after a meal/drink instead of leaving it sitting.  

4. My OCDs are mine- I have certain OCDs- I cannot leave a pen lying around, I cant have my slippers in messed up order, I pick a book from the shelf, I have to put it back before I hit the bed. I have a few other little quirks and I am free to do what I feel like when am home!! It is perfectly fine and nobody can comment/smirk at...

5. Living alone is not lonely or scary- Don't know why most people assume living alone is scary or lonely. I disagree. I go to bed and sleep like a baby and perfectly happy being home alone. And the biggest quip of them all is there is a big big difference between being alone and being lonely. I have never been lonely. Even when i have no plans and am home, I have the TV on and watching a movie/show or the music is out aloud and am generally dancing.. There have been days when there was no power through the night and then other times when it was pouring like crazy with thunder just non stop. I plugged in my iPod and was  enjoying the rains from the balcony.. :) I haven't heard any sounds or weird noises and am not the kind to get jumpy or freaked out. :)  

6. Wear what you wanna or not... ;o) -- That is the biggest fun part about living on your own. You dont have to worry about being dressed up all the time. You can wear what you want, or not [ don't get ideas..].. You can wander about in a T-shirt and shorts or just a long T-shirt, or nothing at all ...  But remember, if living alone and have houses around, better invest in curtains, wouldn't want to give free shows to the world, right?   



7.It is incredibly liberating-  The first day I slept alone in my apartment and woke up to nothing but silence, it was sheer peace. I have friends who come over whenever they are in the area and then there have been times when I have hosted dinners/parties at home. I also love coming back home knowing nobody has meddled with my stuff or touched my things [ dint I mention with you I had a bunch of OCDs] . You can invite people home without thinking too much, you can decide to get off on a trip, you can bring home a stray pup and take care of it for a few days, stay over at a friend's house cos it got late after the movie or she was scared to be alone...  The joy of not having to check with others, work around their schedules is just amazing!

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

People...

All those who know me, know that I love observing and watching people around me. It does not have to be people I know, it can be just about anybody.. 

Be it in a hotel or a railway station, or a bus stop or the shopping mall, I never go bored. For ex, there have been so many instances when I accompany friends who want to shop. While they are trying out outfits or poring over the racks, I will happily walk around observing people. No, it does not mean am busy staring at them, but it only means I observe their mannerisms and little quirks.

I watch the way they walk, the way their expressions change as they move over the collections, I sometimes even observe the way they make signs with each other [ silent communication]. And again, when in the station, people are sometimes standing with their bags, other times sitting on top of the suitcases. And then there are some who shift between legs waiting impatiently for the train. And then there are those who do nothing but talk on the phone or glare at others to a point to making them uncomfortable.

Recently, during a brunch at a high end restaurant with friends, there was a group of foreigners in the table next to ours. They all spoke English, but during the course of the meal, I figured they are not native English speakers. Few spoke in French, while one also said something in German and then there was another who spoke in a language I couldn't decipher. Again, within an hour of us being there, the decibels from that table went up and notch, rising every few minutes. Thought to myself " with every drink, their voice goes up a level". It is almost like they lose inhibitions and start speaking with no care in the world.  Off late have also been spotting quite a few people who come out to dine busy on their phones, barely exchanging a word with each other.. I remember the time when I noticed a couple, sitting facing each other and both lost in their phones.. 

Similarly, when in a movie theater,there are people who sit and watch a movie like their life depends on it, while there are others who are constantly chirping with each other, and then the lot who are there just to piss off others by speaking aloud on their phones about the world and sundry. Oh how can I not mention the love birds[ nauseating] who come plonk in their seats, put their hands over each other's shoulders or are constantly touching each other. How do I know all this? well, there are times when am at a movie hall early and do nothing but watch others.... 

Oh and the one other place where you find a lot of people is the Hospital. There are people waiting, staring into space, some just standing around waiting for some update, and then others who walk up and down anxiously. I wonder what is going on through their minds- what news are they waiting for.. and say a silent prayer that things are alright..  

Dedicated to all the girls out there...

A forward I received, worthy of sharing...


1. Not every girl wants to get married by 23. So before you ASSUME she's of marriageable age, ask her what her views on marriage are. One hint, might save you the drama- just because she does not want to get married now does not mean she never will. She has other plans for herself right now, let her live a little. 



2. Just because a girl wishes to do her PhD after Masters does not mean she doesn't want to settle down in life. Give her a break, and respect the fact that she has the confidence to take that up, cos yeah, PhD is no joke. There will come a point when she would happily devote herself to her family, and balance it out with her work life. Her degrees, or lack of them, won't make any difference. Let her study while she wants to, okay? 



3. Just because she is 27 and unmarried does not mean she's been rejected by many men. Maybe, being single is a choice she has made. 



4. Having a boyfriend does not make her characterless.



 5. Just because she has recently gone through a break up doesn't mean she is vulnerable and available. 



6. Just because most of her friends are boys, does not mean she is "having a good time" with all of them. 



7. Just because she has a drink in her hand does not mean she is an alcoholic. 



8. Just because she wore a short skirt to one party does not mean she dresses up that way every day. 



9. Just because she is ambitious doesn't mean she isn't a family person. 



10. Just because she doesn't discuss her plans doesn't mean she's clueless about life. Give her a chance, alright? 



11. Just because she is outspoken doesn't mean she is a rebel. 



12. Just because she comes home late from work does not mean she is sleeping around with her colleagues.



 13. After a hectic week, give her some time to relax over the weekend. Don't make that one weekend party make her look like a she's a frivolous party-girl without a job. 



14. Just because she is out shopping alone does not mean she is depressed or lonely. It's how she relaxes, respect that. 



15. Just because she is on a holiday alone does not mean she doesn't have company. Maybe it's a break to get back her lost confidence, or maybe that's how she is. Admire her spirit instead of giving her advice, okay? 



16. Just because she is a woman doesn't mean she can't kick ass in military school. 



17. Just because she has a tattoo doesn't mean she is attention seeking. Maybe that's her way of expression. 



18. Just because she doesn't know how to cook doesn't mean she won't make a good wife. Remember when you were just married and cooked chicken curry which was um, a disaster? 



19. Just because she likes everything pink and shiny and fluffy doesn't mean she lives in her own world. She can handle some situations much better than her male counterparts. 



20. Just because she is pretty does not mean she is a whore. And just because she is friendly does not mean she is flirting with you. 



Yes, we cry, we are emotional; we take things personally, and sometimes over-react to situations. But this does not give any one the right to judge us in the wrong way. Times are changing; don't confine her within those boundaries, no matter how orthodox you are. There are some who might be fighting this losing battle, yet compromising on their decisions and plans, just to please society. Respect n do share... :))

Monday, July 28, 2014

To Judge or not be judged...

I don't get it!!!
I turn left, I turn right, I am constantly being stared at.. Why?
I say something, I do something, I am being judged.. Why?

When walking on the road, I notice people stop, stare and then pass on some shushed comments as they walk along.. Well, I wouldn't be bothered but there is a lot of pointing while they comment and that irks me to no end..

Infact, there have been many instances when I just flip a finger and walk away, but then I wonder "do they understand the meaning of the finger?"

Few days ago when travelling by auto on the Kotturpuram bridge, there was a guy on a motorcycle right next to the auto.. He actually turned, looked at me, spotted the tattoo on my left forearm. Auto went ahead, but then a second later I noticed him pulling up besides the auto again to slow down and stare some more.. He noticed my stare and pulled away. I smiled and knew he would quietly swerve to the other side and appear there a minute later, which is exactly what he did.. He infact came to the right side, turned left and once again on seeing me spot him turned and sped away...

Seriously? What gives people the right to do these kind of things? Don't they have any brains or don't they care?

Not just this, I have had people stop stare, comment and then walk away slowly, continuing to stare... Is it cos am big? Is it cos am tall? Wtf.. Would they be ok if I was to stop and stare at them and pass comments? [Not that I would]...

Last weekend, we were at a mall waiting for friends.. While we waited, I was generally looking around to see if there were any familiar faces when I noticed a woman [ she was not a girl, must have been in her 30s and since she dint behave like a lady, I call her "woman"] staring at me, looking me up & down [ not in a nice way, but in a derogatory manner.. How do i know? cos she had that look on her face...].. I stared at her for a good 2 mins before she took her eyes away... Gosh! what on earth is wrong with people?

I don't care what others think
I don't give a damn about their sneers/comments/snide remarks
But don't they have anything better to do? 

I wanna scream


This Monday.. believe in yourself


Thursday, July 24, 2014

Zoutons.com- online shopping was never this fun!!

Gone are the days when people spent hours in stores, going through rows and rows of products before making a purchase. Heck, I can’t remember the last time I did something like this. It is so much easier to just go online and surf through the deals and options available before picking out the one that catches my eye. Not only does it help me save time, but it is so much easier and convenient. There are times when am strapped for time and order a gift online and voila, it arrives at my doorstep and I don’t have to worry about not having time to shop or missing out on cool deals. J Phew, life sure has become so much better these days…

One such site I stumbled upon recently that has changed the way I shop is Zoutons.com. There are days when all I do spend a good amount of time window shopping, but then there are moments when I hop on to the site, click on the product I want and am done with my purchase in a few minutes. What is cool about this site is that it offers discounts and deals on products purchased from various other online ecommerce websites like Flipkart, Amazon, Snapdeal, Jabong, Myntra, Homeshop18, printvenue, Cleartrip and so much more.  






The highlight of Zoutons.com is that it offers deals across product categories, so I can choose from clothes, gadgets, appliances, beverages, baby products, car accessories and a whole host of other verticals as well.

Last week when I wanted to buy a book for a friend, all I had to do was visit the site, click on Amazon link and in a matter of minutes, I was done selecting the books and completing the transaction. They sent an email confirmation and within the specified deadline, the product had arrived at my friend’s address…



So, next time you are looking to indulge in some retail therapy online, all you need to do is login to Zoutons.com and you will left smiling, no grinning away!!  Alright, time to go now. Time to get dressed and show off that new outfit I picked up … 

Friday, July 4, 2014

A milestone...

It is July 2014 and that means it has been a year since I moved out. Wow, I never thought this far when I took the decision to move to a place of my own. It was the 1st of many steps I knew, but such an accomplishment, a sense of pride.. One year on my own- Yayy to Me!! 



What has changed over the year?
Nothing much, and yet a lot!! What do I mean? I can sense a change in me, me as a person, me as an individual, me as a woman, me as a friend. I am much more at peace and am happy. There are people who ask me why am smiling, and I realise it is for no real reason, am just happy. 

What has life been like since moving out? 
It has actually been good. It is a fresh start, one that I had only dreamt off. It gives me hope that I can do anything I set my mind to and I should dream big and high.. 

Have I been able to manage/cope?
Oh yes, I say that without batting an eyelid. How? Well, I have had the good fortune of being busy, working on new challenging projects and ofcourse the endless/wonderful support of my friends. It has helped me sail through each and every day without a worry or fear. 

There are days when I wish there was a meal waiting for me as I enter home or someone would do the laundry, but heck, these are small things that I tide over within minutes and they are forgotten!! :-)) 

Any fears? Any Worries?
Nope, none at all. And no, am not being cocky when I say that! I do miss my family and Floppy[well, to be honest I miss Floppy more than anyone/anything else], but it is a choice I have made. I do spend a few hours with him every week and even though it is not enough, it is a pact made with myself... 

Little Lessons:
  • I learnt that if I leave my clothes to soak in the morning, they wont automatically rinse and go hang in the clothesline.. I gotta do it, and if I delay, they start to smell and I end up having to wash them all over again.
  • I need to put away grocery, atleast the ones that need to be stored in the fridge else they rot and die.. milk, veggies, dosa batter... 
  • The house needs to be cleaned and mopped atleast twice a week, else there is dust peeping out of the corner grinning at me with that evil smirk. 
  • There are neighbours who are noisy and then there are others who think the world is their playground and wreck havoc through the day and night- noise and mess [ my balcony is a mess courtesy the guys living upstairs who are doing some construction work nonstop] 
  • I end up telling the courier guys to drop off my parcel with the security guys since am not home through the day [most of the time]...and this is the only kind of post I receive, rest of them are all meant for some random tom dick or lalalalalarrry... 
  • I have learnt to plan my money better, come month beginning and the bills start pouring in one by one, heartlessly...
  • The lightbulb near the main door went out.. Well, D'oh none but I gotta buy a new one and replace it.. ;o)
  • Trash wont take itself out, you need to dump it in the bins downstairs... 

What next?
Well, I do have some thoughts floating around in my head, a few little teasers, let's see what happens in the days to come!!

To all those who are contemplating living on your own, I strongly recommend it.. It gives you the space, the ability to do what you desire and above all, the chance to spend time with yourself... And like I tell those who ask me "Why are you living alone inspite of having family in the same town?-- It is my life and I choose to live it the way I want to..."

Me

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Am a contradiction of sorts. i love going out and having a good time with friends, and i can also stay home chill out over a book or a movie.. Am very passionate about writing, so give me a topic and watch me float away into wonderland... I Am crazy about music,books,friends and my doggie... :)