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Monday, July 28, 2014

To Judge or not be judged...

I don't get it!!!
I turn left, I turn right, I am constantly being stared at.. Why?
I say something, I do something, I am being judged.. Why?

When walking on the road, I notice people stop, stare and then pass on some shushed comments as they walk along.. Well, I wouldn't be bothered but there is a lot of pointing while they comment and that irks me to no end..

Infact, there have been many instances when I just flip a finger and walk away, but then I wonder "do they understand the meaning of the finger?"

Few days ago when travelling by auto on the Kotturpuram bridge, there was a guy on a motorcycle right next to the auto.. He actually turned, looked at me, spotted the tattoo on my left forearm. Auto went ahead, but then a second later I noticed him pulling up besides the auto again to slow down and stare some more.. He noticed my stare and pulled away. I smiled and knew he would quietly swerve to the other side and appear there a minute later, which is exactly what he did.. He infact came to the right side, turned left and once again on seeing me spot him turned and sped away...

Seriously? What gives people the right to do these kind of things? Don't they have any brains or don't they care?

Not just this, I have had people stop stare, comment and then walk away slowly, continuing to stare... Is it cos am big? Is it cos am tall? Wtf.. Would they be ok if I was to stop and stare at them and pass comments? [Not that I would]...

Last weekend, we were at a mall waiting for friends.. While we waited, I was generally looking around to see if there were any familiar faces when I noticed a woman [ she was not a girl, must have been in her 30s and since she dint behave like a lady, I call her "woman"] staring at me, looking me up & down [ not in a nice way, but in a derogatory manner.. How do i know? cos she had that look on her face...].. I stared at her for a good 2 mins before she took her eyes away... Gosh! what on earth is wrong with people?

I don't care what others think
I don't give a damn about their sneers/comments/snide remarks
But don't they have anything better to do? 

I wanna scream


This Monday.. believe in yourself


Friday, July 4, 2014

A milestone...

It is July 2014 and that means it has been a year since I moved out. Wow, I never thought this far when I took the decision to move to a place of my own. It was the 1st of many steps I knew, but such an accomplishment, a sense of pride.. One year on my own- Yayy to Me!! 



What has changed over the year?
Nothing much, and yet a lot!! What do I mean? I can sense a change in me, me as a person, me as an individual, me as a woman, me as a friend. I am much more at peace and am happy. There are people who ask me why am smiling, and I realise it is for no real reason, am just happy. 

What has life been like since moving out? 
It has actually been good. It is a fresh start, one that I had only dreamt off. It gives me hope that I can do anything I set my mind to and I should dream big and high.. 

Have I been able to manage/cope?
Oh yes, I say that without batting an eyelid. How? Well, I have had the good fortune of being busy, working on new challenging projects and ofcourse the endless/wonderful support of my friends. It has helped me sail through each and every day without a worry or fear. 

There are days when I wish there was a meal waiting for me as I enter home or someone would do the laundry, but heck, these are small things that I tide over within minutes and they are forgotten!! :-)) 

Any fears? Any Worries?
Nope, none at all. And no, am not being cocky when I say that! I do miss my family and Floppy[well, to be honest I miss Floppy more than anyone/anything else], but it is a choice I have made. I do spend a few hours with him every week and even though it is not enough, it is a pact made with myself... 

Little Lessons:
  • I learnt that if I leave my clothes to soak in the morning, they wont automatically rinse and go hang in the clothesline.. I gotta do it, and if I delay, they start to smell and I end up having to wash them all over again.
  • I need to put away grocery, atleast the ones that need to be stored in the fridge else they rot and die.. milk, veggies, dosa batter... 
  • The house needs to be cleaned and mopped atleast twice a week, else there is dust peeping out of the corner grinning at me with that evil smirk. 
  • There are neighbours who are noisy and then there are others who think the world is their playground and wreck havoc through the day and night- noise and mess [ my balcony is a mess courtesy the guys living upstairs who are doing some construction work nonstop] 
  • I end up telling the courier guys to drop off my parcel with the security guys since am not home through the day [most of the time]...and this is the only kind of post I receive, rest of them are all meant for some random tom dick or lalalalalarrry... 
  • I have learnt to plan my money better, come month beginning and the bills start pouring in one by one, heartlessly...
  • The lightbulb near the main door went out.. Well, D'oh none but I gotta buy a new one and replace it.. ;o)
  • Trash wont take itself out, you need to dump it in the bins downstairs... 

What next?
Well, I do have some thoughts floating around in my head, a few little teasers, let's see what happens in the days to come!!

To all those who are contemplating living on your own, I strongly recommend it.. It gives you the space, the ability to do what you desire and above all, the chance to spend time with yourself... And like I tell those who ask me "Why are you living alone inspite of having family in the same town?-- It is my life and I choose to live it the way I want to..."

Friday, June 13, 2014

The other gender

I still remember the very 1st time I saw someone from the 3rd gender.. it was in the local train in Mumbai, they were a group of 4 and the train was not too crowded. They started walking around, chanting in hindi about how they bless us and we need to give them money. I wasnt very familiar and I guess that is where the fear stemmed from. I hesitantly pulled out a Rs10 from my wallet upon seeing the lady across from me do the same and handed it over to one of them in the group. 

A few days later, while in a cab at a traffic junction, one of them put his/her hand through the window and demanded I give them money... I parted with a Rs50 since I dint have any other lower change. The taxi driver mumbled about how they do no work, but make easy money like this. 

And then, cut to Chennai, I was getting out of a client's office walking down the road [ around 3pm] near Valluvar Kottam when 2 of them sitting on the side walk stood up and came over appealing for some money. I commented that I was just coming out of a class and dint have any money on me. They said, no worries, give whatever you have... And then asked me about what I was doing and if I was from Chennai or elsewhere.. We actually had a 2 min convo, I parted with Rs50 and carried on... 

I ignored them, rather did not bother too much. But over the past few years, have noticed the numbers increasing and they have begun harrasing people for money. A friend of mine [who is into events] was getting back home late one evening when a group of transgenders literally surrounded her car and wouldnt let go till she parted with all the money in her wallet, nearly Rs2500.. Another friend was getting back to her car after some shopping at pazhamudir in Anna nagar was halted, and let to proceed after they took Rs1000 from her wallet.. She called me and was in shock about what had just happened. 

And these are not the only incidents.. These men/women have begun to physically abuse people, they start lifting up their clothes, showing off their body, talking about needing money for a sex change operation or start feeling up their victims!! I know they are also human beings, but such acts make us wish they would go away.. or be given a separate area where they can work and get on with their lives.. 

Last year, when I moved to T-Nagar I was in for a surprise. Giri Road was filled with hookers and transvestites who dress up and block a section of the road from 8pm onwards... You will see them emerge out of the darkness once a bike or car pulls into the street. Infact, one evening while walking back home I chit chatted with one of them. It was a guy, who worked in a call center and who dressed up in fine saree and make up with hairdo every night and took on a few customers. He made anywhere between 10-20k and most of his clients were men he said!! Woah.................... 

Within a few weeks, I noticed the road had cleared up and they had all gone missing. Well, wishful thinking- they cropped up soon after near my home.. Both on the same side as my apartment and across the road as well.  The roads are well lit but the stretch between my apartment and Residency hotel, it is fairly dark and hidden away under the flyover. 

Anyways, about a week ago, I was out with friends and we were heading to Residency for dinner when suddenly I spotted not one or two but nearly 10 of them literally blocking the road and stopping the cars passing by. Told my friend to take the flyover and we did a small roundabout to get back to Residency. Friend insisted on dropping me back home after dinner. 

Last night, again I walk home from Residency and one of them walks up to me, full shaking her hips and boobs asking for money.. Luckily I had nothing in my hands and managed to escape... 

Again, I do know they are human beings, but why do they accost? Who gave them the right to harass people and loot money? Why cant companies/coffee shops/restaurants start hiring them, giving them training and helping them earn steady incomes? The one thing I did love is the Seatbelt crew and the video they came up with encouraging people to wear seat belts... 

Me

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Am a contradiction of sorts. i love going out and having a good time with friends, and i can also stay home chill out over a book or a movie.. Am very passionate about writing, so give me a topic and watch me float away into wonderland... I Am crazy about music,books,friends and my doggie... :)