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Am a contradiction of sorts. i love going out and having a good time with friends, and i can also stay home chill out over a book or a movie.. Am very passionate about writing, so give me a topic and watch me float away into wonderland... I Am crazy about music,books,friends and my doggie... :)

Monday, July 2, 2018

Battle with the body - XIV - Conditioning of the mind!


Few weeks back, a post by a lady I follow caught my eye and had my attention as well. It is something that I have been talking about on the blog- body image, body shaming and how the so called society has defined certain rules of how a woman should look, what she should wear etc and how many women are still caught in this web and feel low /under confident etc... 

This lady had put up a picture and spoke about how women need not confine to the rules laid down and women need to be able to feel confident in all they do. I somehow couldnt resist leaving a comment and then it went on to become quite a long discussion, going to and fro. It was almost like we were fighting the same fight but on two different sides of the table... Talking from each one's point of view, we were at the end of the day saying the same thing.

She came from the skinny side and I from the chubby side of the fence.. that was the only difference between us.  We were both from small towns where the chance of getting poked and made fun of was bigger than the city... 

It did take me quite a few years to get over all the mocking and body shaming to come to this point where I love my body and am happy the way I am... Yes, I do diet, work out etc but all that is more from a continue to stay healthy perspective and lead a healthy life with no aches and pains... 

I have friends who are thin [yes am using the word thin, because that is one the world understands]. But yet she feels she is heavy... From the time I have known her till date, she has never felt good about herself.. It is always something or the other... She refused to wear sleeveless because she had chubby forearms, she wouldn't wear shorts for the same reason even though she loved em and would happily wear em at home.. She is now on a Keto diet [ who isnt, right?] and finally reached a level where she feels she has reached her desired size and wore a sleeveless blouse few weeks ago and showed it off.. 

Few days back when I was talking to a guy friend of mine, he casually asked me what I wear at night. I replied T-shirt and shorts and no undergarments. 

He was quite surprised and we chatted for a few minutes, he felt strongly that it might not be appropriate for me to be dressed like that [even at home]. I kinda lost it , but kept my cool and debated it till he gave up... I mean, I know my limits, I am not the kind to strut about in skimpy clothes outside or go out on the street wearing clothes that did not suit me or were inappropriate. But then, I decide what I wear, and what is appropriate, not others.. 

Why are we all conditioned to follow invisible rules? I remember during my early years, I would wear frocks [ mom would get a whole batch of them stitched - I was broad and tall back then itself].. I would wear them to school on Friday[colour dress], would wear them after school on other days, out to play and so on. And then somewhere along the way it changed... Don't remember if it happened before or after we moved to Chennai...

I slowly stopped wearing them, it was then onto school uniform [which was shirt pinafore] and into salwar kameez  [which was also the school uniform in 11th & 12th stds]. For festivals and functions I would wear pavadai thavani [long skirt, blouse and a dupatta of sorts across like a saree pallu- half saree as it was called].. I distinctly remember mom saying I couldnt wear short sleeve blouses for the sarees, they were always upto my elbow, folding into an ugly crease at the elbow bend...  

I don't think I had an opinion on clothes, cos it was mom who always decided and got things done. Mom and gramma would go out shopping and come armed with salwar fabric and they would get stitched in similar fashion and I had clothes for the next few months sorted. The only variation was sometimes it was crepe and other times it was cotton. This is how life went on till I was done with college...

Now when I look back, I realise a lot of it is to do with the mind conditioning. I was told I was big and fat, and tall and so couldnt wear anything but salwar, nothing else suited or covered up the flabs. All this changed close to a decade ago when I started experimenting and my wardrobe changed...

What are the things you deal with or have fought against related to this? Do share... 

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

This Monday.... Acceptance


[Image source: http://getzkick.com/how-to-stop-dreaming-of-perfection-and-learn-to-accept-yourself/]

Thursday, April 26, 2018

[Share] 17 F*cks you should finally stop giving...

I recently read this book called The Subtle Art of Not giving a F*ck by Mark Manson and it was a brilliant read... It covered various aspects that I have been following and talking about with those around me...

Amazon link in case you wanna buy the book..


And today morning, while randomly browsing the net, I came upon this article that made even more sense... Principles I follow 99% in life... Had to share it with you readers... 

Do share your thoughts on the same..




Thursday, April 19, 2018

Movie goers ..

Do you love movies? Watching them in the cinema hall, on the big screen or would you rather watch it at home on your TV/ laptop [streaming it online] ?

Well, am one of those who loves to watch them on the big screen and people who know me, know that 99.99999% of the time, I go for movies alone.. Not because I hate going with people or dont have people to go with, just that most times I finish work, up & go for a movie. I cant expect friends to be available at the drop of a hat.. There are times when we plan and go for one as well, but those are far & few between. 




Over the years, have noticed there are different kinds of movie goers around.. And for someone like me who loves watching/observing people, it is sheer delight and agony... 

Serious kind
These are the lot who are in their seats ahead of time and hooked on the movie.. They don't pick up snacks, no pop corn, no coke or water and all they do is sit still in their seats watching the movie. They sit from the starting through the ads and all the way to the final credits... 

I am normally glued to the scene, but do look around every once in a while... I grab a tub of popcorn, a bottle of water and thats all I need, am happy camper..

I love these folks, but wonder how they are so glued in? some don't blink, trust me i have stared few seconds ...hehe..

Chitty Chatty type
The groups [of more than 3 people] who come and chat through the movie. It is like they are catching up during the few hours at the theater. Sometimes in the group, one person might seem interested in the movie, while other two are just talking away.... 

Recently at Hichki, I had the honor of sitting next to two women[50s], who did nothing but mock Rani Mukherjee everytime she had a tic, poke at her, make lewd comments and when they werent doing this, they were on the phone giggling away..  I told em to be quiet, then later to zip it, and relief happened when they walked out saying what a boring movie just before interval... *throws hands in the air*

I don't mind the occasional chit chat, but for people to talk through the movie, dude, go sit at a coffee shop I say!

React non stop... 
"Oh no, what are they doing?"  "Aiyo pavam..." "Sheesh, she shouldnt have said that"... Some of the statements people make during the movie.. They react, they react to every damn dialogue and scene... They are either saying things, or gasping at the scene... And then there are those who will close their eyes, shut their mouths at times accompanied by a sound.... sigh! Never ending.. 

I get that you are expressive, but can you not be so jumpy and vocal about it?!!

The confused one

These lot are the most irritating.. I mean initially I don't mind indulging them and explaining the plot or dialogues but after a point am like " you stay home, I will watch the movie, and come back narrate the whole thing to you"..  They are confused, don't follow the story, and keep asking questions... 

Let me watch in peace I say!! [There have been times when I have asked a friend for an explanation, but that has happened when I watching a Malayalam movie and don't understand certain words.. But I make sure to wait for a song, or break before asking]

Glued to the Phone 
There are some who look completely out of place [you know they are not into movies or that particular language/genre] and yet they will sit smug with their phones in their hands... What do they do? Talk.. talk aloud.. talk nonstop...  talk about their home, their lunch, their mommy daddy granddaddy pakkathu veettu daddy and what not... They do business transactions and talk about visiting people... 

I find them the most annoying kind!! If you are at a theater, respect the space and shut it or go out side sit in the open atrium in the mall and chat away, I say! 

Baby folks
Couples and families who walk in with a tiny bundle or one that is tiny enough to run between your legs.. While I love that families go out together to catch a movie, I dont understand why they would bring the little bundle along... I mean, I feel bad for the baby, the sound in the theater must be too loud, not to forget the fight scenes and song dance routine which is jarring... And then comes the moments when the baby decides he/she has had enough of this nonsense and wants to escape.. They cry till one of the family member hushes them and takes them out of the hall. I wish they find someone who can take care of the baby, or atleast be with them outside the theater for the movie duration... 

Worst are the families who dont take the baby/kid out of the theater, but let them scream and howl away... Why Why why.. Is it just the  "I want the entire theater to experience what we are going through at home" 

Couples 
Uff, what do I say? For long I had only seen and heard about couples making out in the theater but off late I have seen it in our very own... While am fine with them doing whatever they wanna do, maybe they need a dark air conditioned space to get them going, why do it in a theater? Just cos it is cheaper than a hotel room and there is no moral policing here? I have had the privilege of sitting in the row ahead of a couple who chatted through the movie.. 

At the end I turned and told em "Thanks for ruining my experience".. The guy actually apologised while the girl got cocky and said why should we apologise, we dint do anything wrong.. The guy stopped her and apologised some more... 

I guess am one of those who has such sharp hearing that people talking few rows behind can be heard and I find it very irritating... If it was someone in my row, I would tell them to step outside and talk, but there are few who dont care and go on... 

Have you come across any other kind of folks? Do share...