Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Turmeric Blooms at Home

Few weeks ago one evening when I wandered towards the backyard, I noticed pretty flower in the Tulasi pot.. Called gramma who clarified that it was Turmeric flower...

Am hoping to do up the garden a little more.. Lets see how it goes in the next few months!

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Dear Diary, I miss Me

Dear Diary,

It has been 4 months since I moved back to my grandparents place..
It has been 4 months since grandpa passed away
It has been 4 long months since I enjoyed ME time....

I do miss living on my own
I do miss doing my own thing
I do miss having the freedom to cook what I want
I do miss just being Me
I do miss doing up my space the way I want to
I do miss having the liberty to change things
I do miss a lot of little things...

I dont regret the choices I have made
I dont regret the move I made
I dont regret making all these changes to my life..

But I do miss ME time..
There is a constant air of suffocation all around.
Questions, queries and suspicion
Why. Where. When..
Will this ever change? Will people ever understand the concept of "space"?
Or is this going to be a battle that goes on forever with no end in sight?

Sigh. I know it is weekend and I should be out.
But what to do, i cancelled my plans
While others went ahead with theirs
not bothering to update us!!

Oh well...  Alright, am gonna go knock myself out.. thanks for listening to me patiently..

Talk to you soon

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Dear Diary.. time does fly by

Dear Diary,

Am back.. It has been awhile but feels like I was writing in you only yesterday. Two whole months have gone by and we have survived the days and nights.  But there are moments when am just blank and  I end up having a chat with Granpa - enquiring how he is doing now, does he get to watch TV, has he met his brother/sister and aunts/uncles/cousins.. If he gets to eat all that he loves or the diet is different and weird. 

Gramma is alright, she is being strong. Her life and day has changed completely, nothing seems familiar anymore. She doesn't do her daily puja, doesn't spend too much time in the puja room, doesn't keep milk for God like she used to... Gosh, the list is endless. I take a shower and light the lamp in the puja room, I keep fruits for God.... I am the one turning off all the lights, locking up and winding down before we hit the bed. I sleep with gramma and I sleep in Thatha's place... Every night is a bit of a struggle before sleep takes over. We talk about how thatha would curl up on his side, how he would wake up the minute gramma made the smallest sound, or if she was getting up to go to the loo, drink water. He would be up with her, be the one to go out fetch the vessel that holds the milk packets. 

Gramma is not the bold/am not scared of anything kind. She will not go out of the house once the sun sets unless one of us is with her, she will lock up all the doors and sit in the hall with TV on if she is alone, and she generally hates being home alone... 

My life has gone through some changes as well, but am back to finding my ground and getting into a rhythm. I am home early in the evenings, I don't go out late in the night or if I do, mom/uncle come stay over. I have come to terms with the fact that I have moved out of my own space. I recently bought a wardrobe and was quite excited as I filled it up. :-) 

I know there is a bigger plan in the offing... So, I have made peace with life and am happy about it.. 

Well, that's it for now.. Talk to you soon.

This monday... stay confident..


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Am a contradiction of sorts. i love going out and having a good time with friends, and i can also stay home chill out over a book or a movie.. Am very passionate about writing, so give me a topic and watch me float away into wonderland... I Am crazy about music,books,friends and my doggie... :)