Over the last few years, I’ve been writing quite a few blog posts around this topic – “Dealing with a narcissistic parent”. Here is one that has ten points that you can note down & use. [If you click on NPD, or narcissism, Narcissistic parents -> you will find the posts]
The world is constantly telling us how precious our mothers are, and no matter what they do at the end of the day they are our mothers, and they are doing things FOR OUR GOOD only. But then, there are some of us who aren’t so lucky. We have been dealt a harsh hand, and our own mothers make our life miserable. I am sure the same holds true for those who have a father who’s narcissistic. So, when it comes to handling such a mother, it can be incredibly challenging and emotionally draining.
Here are 10 things that can help you navigate this situation and prioritize your well-being:
1. Prioritize your own mental health: This is crucial. Narcissistic behaviour can be abusive, so prioritize self-care. Seek therapy, join support groups, and engage in activities that nurture your emotional well-being.
2. Educate yourself: Understanding narcissism and its dynamics empowers you. Read books, articles, and watch videos by experts on the topic. This knowledge helps you predict and respond to your mother’s behaviour with greater clarity.
3. Set boundaries: This is key to protecting yourself. Define what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour from your mother. Communicate your boundaries clearly and consistently and be prepared to enforce them with consequences if necessary.
4. Limit contact: If necessary, reduce your interactions with your mother. This could involve setting boundaries on phone calls, visits, or social media. Prioritize your own peace and well-being.
5. Avoid engaging in emotional reactions: Narcissists thrive on emotional responses. Stay calm and avoid arguing or getting drawn into their drama. Respond with neutral statements or “I” statements to express your feelings without blaming or attacking.
6. Focus on self-validation: Don’t seek validation from your mother. It’s unlikely to come, and relying on it can be emotionally damaging. Instead, validate your own feelings and experiences. Build a strong support network of friends, family, or therapists who can offer genuine validation.
7. Cultivate self-compassion: Narcissistic parents often leave their children with feelings of guilt and inadequacy. Practice self-compassion and remember that their behaviour is not a reflection of you. You are worthy of love and respect, regardless of your mother’s actions.
8. Focus on your own happiness: Don’t let your relationship with your mother define your happiness. Invest in activities, hobbies, and relationships that bring you joy and fulfilment. Build a life that nourishes your soul and strengthens your sense of self.
9. Seek professional help: If you are struggling to cope with the emotional toll of dealing with a narcissistic parent, consider seeking professional help from a therapist specializing in narcissistic abuse. They can provide valuable guidance and support as you navigate this challenging situation.
10. Remember, you are not alone: Many people have dealt with narcissistic parents. There are online communities and support groups where you can connect with others who understand your experiences and offer support.
Remember, healing from a narcissistic parent takes time and patience. Be kind to yourself, prioritize your well-being, and seek support when needed. You are not alone in this journey.
