I am not against people who love to shop
I am not against people who throw lavish parties
I am not against people who bring in all comforts into their space
I do wonder why they spend?
What is it they seek?
Do they want attention?
Do they seek appreciation?
Do they have a sense of fulfillment when they spend?
Do they just do it cos they have the money?
Do they do it to show off? and the biggest question is
Do they do it to buy friends/affection?……….
By “they” I am referring to all those who spend.. I am not saying I don’t spend, but I am very careful.
I am not judging those who spend but just thinking aloud about the psychology behind it..
I am not one of those who preaches “instead of spending you should give it to the needy or deserving”…
I belong to the sect of people who thinks a million times before spending- be it for a new TV or a dress or a chocolate. There are friends who find me very amusing. I would go to an exhibition or sale and walk out empty handed and smiling. Some have offered to pay for things I desire, but I decline telling them “it is not that I cannot afford, I just don’t find the need for it”. Am sure some think am being thrifty, while others just think am weird, but it is ok!I am happy the way I am!
Take our weddings for example- Oh my god- How lavish can they get- book the biggest wedding hall, rope in the best caterer, order the best orchids in the country, buy the most expensive clothes & jewellery , pack return gifts for the world & sundry and still crib at the end of the day that it wasn’t exactly what you dreamt off. People who came will also find something wrong, find the idli luke warm, the sambar watery and the gulab jamun slightly small in size [it would have been the size of your face and yet they complain]. When will people resign to the fact that “You cant, and you shouldn’t aim to please the world and their cousins”.. I have had enough arguments about this with friends and family- why don’t you just put all the money you spend in the bank so the newly wed couple can pick up a house/furniture/etc or go on a long holiday … But no, nobody wants to bell the cat, err the elephant in this case!
When I moved into this new apartment, I had people telling me of the things I should buy, of that I think I bought about .000001%… I picked up a Fridge & a sofa before moving in, but the TV after about a month or so, the dining table after nearly 3.5 months of living here and a floor lamp after 8 months.. heck, I dint have a wall clock forever, and now I have one courtesy a dear friend who sent it as a gift for my birthday 🙂
There was a problem with a faucet in the bathroom which I got fixed, so I have my priorities in place I guess.. 🙂
I am good with taking things at my own pace and figuring my way around life. A friend who came home commented on how I have very little things, too much space- I smiled and she knew the answer to that one 😀 I do enjoy spending for friends & kids- buying them gifts [esp books], sharing an experience/travel/movie etc…
Last month while I was in Pondicherry, a friend & I were sitting on one of the benches near the ocean in the French Quarters and generally yapping away. Every half hour or so someone would come begging for money. They would either linger for a few seconds and walk away or persist.
There was an old man who stood next to us for nearly 10mins, he was not physically disabled, spoke well which made us wonder why he dint just take up a job?
Then there was this other old man who came by, he begged and begged, but we dint offer him anything. And suddenly he began to touch our feet. This caught me off guard- I told him “please dont do this, you are much older than us, why don’t you do something and make some money.” He just stood there, attempted to touch our feet again and then walked away.
Few minutes later, a small boy came over with a bunch of stickers and said they were each Rs10. I am crazy about stationery, and stickers included. So took the bunch from him, picked out 3, gave him Rs40 [2 Rs20 notes] and he walked away. I was surprised [he dint even offer to return the extra Rs10] I let it slide cos he was a kid and hoped he used the money for something good. What surprised me even more was he came back in half hour once again selling stickers like he hadn’t seen us before… :O
[Image courtesy: www.someecards.com]
Another incident that kinda irked me was when I had gone to a temple with a friend. There was a lady at one of the sanctums and she saw me and commented “all that you have in your wallet, you should give to God”.. Seriously- what on earth is that? It reminded me of the numerous temples I’ve been to where the priests sing the same song “bla bla bla it would be good if you can give us something- say Rs 500 or Rs 1000 [they actually say the denomination preferred]” probably a reason why I don’t enjoy going to temples as much. I would rather put some money in the Undiyal, say a prayer and be done with it!
Guess what am trying to say is this whole concept of Spending is very new and a strange world to me. Have given up trying to understand it and am happy being the way I am!